Keeping Someone Out of Photos?

Scootersbabygirl

I spoke with the bride yesterday (who seemed a bit scatterbrained) and the only thing she was absolutely positive about was that she did NOT want her brother's girlfriend in any of her "formal" photos.

Have you dealt with this situation before? I want to make it as easy as I can on the bride, but I also don't want to offend anyone.

Have you had this situation happen before?

jeffreaux2

Scootersbabygirl wrote:

I spoke with the bride yesterday (who seemed a bit scatterbrained) and the only thing she was absolutely positive about was that she did NOT want her brother's girlfriend in any of her "formal" photos.

Have you dealt with this situation before? I want to make it as easy as I can on the bride, but I also don't want to offend anyone.

Have you had this situation happen before?

Ask her to ask the brother's girlfriend to assist you in gathering the others for the formals. Put her in charge of the list.:D

elizabeth_Luna

jeffreaux2 wrote:

Ask her to ask the brother's girlfriend to assist you in gathering the others for the formals. Put her in charge of the list.:D

Good idea haha

Tim Kamppinen

Or just take a photo with her in it but just delete it later... of course you'd have to tell the bride that that's what you're doing because she'd probably notice her being in the shot at the time.

heatherfeather

Usually it is the old divorce/ hate your ex thing of the mother of and father of the bride or groom or some waward grandparent. I have had them where they would not be in the same room with each other, but each one wanted the formal with their kid on the wedding day.

I rely heavily upon my assistant to run the gauntlet, by getting people in and out in situations like that. That and scheduling... We do what we have to.

Blurmore

I've had this request many times, brother's girlfriends are always on the hit list. I've also had...crazy aunts, father's girl friends, and "slutty" cousins, and siblings spouses. Usually if the bride forewarns me that they are not to be included, I explain that it MAY hurt the person's feelings. Depending on whether the bride cares or not dictates what I suggest next. If the bride could give a crap, I just build poses without them. The only issue is when the bride has another sibling who is married, then they feel left out if the bride WANTS spouses in the pictures (this isn't always the case). If the bride doesn't want to bruise any feelings, then I suggest we do one WITH and WITHOUT spouses, THEN your bases are covered, if the married sibling divorces? Bam your covered, if the dating sibling gets married? BAM...you are covered. So how do I pull it off? Part of my wedding day persona is that I play oblivious to family conflicts and tensions (the bride and groom are in on this). So do I occasionally end up looking like a jerk? Maybe a little, but I book a LOT of other siblings weddings, so I must not be that much of a jerk. Another little trick I employ is to make sure I make a dynomite portrait of the dating couple later in the day.

zoomer

Really not your issue.
If they don't want her in any of the photos then they need to tell her that.

Test-Pilot

Ideally, you'd think that the girlfriend would be grown-up enough to realize that she isn't "family" yet. In the past, I've accompanied girlfriends to weddings and even when they asked me to be in the photos, I've declined, citing lack of family ties. Why would anyone want to be in some other family's photos?

20DNoob

Offend away, your being paid to do what the B&G want, not what the GF wants.

Then again I've been told I need to work on my people skills so what do I know.

Scootersbabygirl

HA HA HA! 20DNoob - hilarious!!

I really like your idea, Blurmore, about doing some with and some without. I'll make sure to let the bride know ahead of time that I'm doing both, though, so that she won't be upset. She made some comment about playing Bridezilla towards this particular guest, but so far she really seems to be all over the place with this wedding so we'll see what happens. I'm just trying to do MY job right and to get the pictures the couple wants!

CrazyStars

Hopefully the girlfriend (and brother, for that matter) is mature enough to not expect to be in any of the photos. I, like Test Pilot, have attended weddings with boyfriends (even my now-sister-in-law's) who were even groomsmen and I never assumed I should be in any of the formals. Instead, I stood back and out of the photographer's way while the photos were taken taking my own photos! :photo (I know, I know, there are some who think guests like me are annoying or threatening, but none of the photogs minded and a few were even really friendly... My SIL's in particular even snapped a photo of me taking a photo!)

Anyway, as someone who had a similar request at her own wedding (mom's "boyfriend"), I'd recommend asking the b&g how they'd like it handled exactly. Ours said he would try to keep him out of them, but suggested that we go along with it if there seemed no other drama-free option and he would just "lose" the photos later. Which turned out to be exactly what had to be done, but it all worked out.