Puking Bride

happysmileylady

Outdoor wedding reception, wedding was a JP service a week earlier, very casual affair overall. Right after bbq was served, I snagged the bride and groom for shots of them together, and wanted to try some sillouhets on a hill. Just before I pressed the shutter button, the bride squats down and bends over. At first, I thought maybe she had been stung or gotten bit by bug-she had taken her shoes off to walk up the hill. After a moment, she stood back up, we finished the pose and we went back to the reception. However, I noticed several times through the evening, she would walk off, in the bushes, in the corner, just basically away from everyone.

Then time comes for first dance of bride and groom. Music starts, they begin to dance, half way through, she walks away, manages to make it to the grass right by the head table and pukes. I stop shooting and am unsure what to do, so I stand there holding my camera trying to look away, doing nothing, as she continues to puke and basically everyone else stares at her. The groom at least was trying to comfort her.

Then, mother of the groom, who was who had hired me and was hosting the reception, tells me to keep shooting!:huh So I fired off a couple of shots of the bride bending over, someone, an aunt I think, attempted finally to give her some privacy by holding up her gauzy shawl, and the groom basically standing there, obviously concerned but unsure what else to do.

I am not sure what to do with these shots. Obviously the mother of the groom-they one who paid me and was the decision maker for the entire thing, wanted them-obviously wanted a FULL accounting of the whole evening. So I want to include them in her selection. But, I am sure the BRIDE will not want these shots available for everyone in her family (who already thinks she has married "below" her and almost didn't show up to the reception) and friends to see and order from.

wwyd?

Wil Davis

Hey, if I was being paid to take pictures, then I'd continue to take pictures… …I'd just be very careful where I trod from then on…

It reminds me of a story:

Two photographers walking along, pass a beggar in the street, one stops and the other continues walking. Later, they're still walking and the second says to the first "…so, what did you give the beggar back there?" The other pauses to think, and says "…uh, f8 at 1/125th"

So, what did you do?

- Wil

InsuredDisaster

Maybe the MOB wants to show the BBQ people that their food made the people sick and get her money back?




Contact the BBQ people and see how much they'll pay to keep the incriminating evidence away from the MOB!

happysmileylady

InsuredDisaster wrote:

Maybe the MOB wants to show the BBQ people that their food made the people sick and get her money back?




Contact the BBQ people and see how much they'll pay to keep the incriminating evidence away from the MOB!

Food was homecooked:D

ziggy53

That's a difficult situation. Since you were asked to continue shooting, it was OK to do so, but delivering images of the bride being sick to the mother of the groom just seems inappropriate.

If you have contact information for the bride and groom I would contact them to see if they are OK with it first. Hopefully you have a clause in your contract that allows you to exercise final selection decisions and you may have to tell the MOG that those images didn't turn out.

I hope you can work this out and that they dwell on the rest of the images instead.

lilmomma

I agree with ziggy, contact the bride and groom and ask if they want those included. I think it's pretty inconsiderate of the grooms mother to ask you to shoot the bride while she is puking. Did she want you follow the bride in the bathroom and document her taking a #2 just because it happened on the wedding day? And to me, just because the MOG paid for you shouldn't make them her photos. It wasn't her day. She likely paid for them as a gift. Does the MOG get the final say on the album, just because she paid? I'm not a wedding photog, so my thinking could be off but I guess the other thing to consider is how the bride felt about it. If she laughed it off and wants the pics then give them to her. But if she was truely embarrased, she may not want them and if she doesn't then it should be up to her on whether she wants to be reminded of that moment every time she looks at her album. If she doesn't then the MOG should respect that. If not, I feel REALLY sorry for what she has to put up with the rest of her life.

Agnieszka

I don't know.... I'd guess she didn't want to have shots of her puking!! I would have guessed she just wanted you to shoot the guests

Puking shots would be definitely a no-go for me, no matter why she was sick. (In the worst case you can keep them on your server, but I would not put them online)

Just my 2 cents

Blurmore

Wuz she prego or did she have teh Hamthrax?

WingsOfLovePhoto

My guess is she is pregnant (ob nurse here!) and that the mother in law either wanted them...

1... because she is not happy about the situation and feels her son is being trapped? or
2... She wants it as part of the pregnancy baby book?

Either way...I would hold on to them, not show them and wait and see if she (the bride) asks for them. If the mother in law asks for them tell her you will have to consult with the bride since she is who the photo is of. Doesn't really matter who paid for them.

VayCayMom

Agnieszka wrote:

I don't know.... I'd guess she didn't want to have shots of her puking!! I would have guessed she just wanted you to shoot the guests

Puking shots would be definitely a no-go for me, no matter why she was sick. (In the worst case you can keep them on your server, but I would not put them online)

Just my 2 cents

Yes, I also wondered what the MOG meant. And I thought perhaps the bride was expecting REALLY EARLY!!
( like moments after being wed...)

Moogle Pepper

Keep them somewhere, but not in the proofs or the final product that you give to them. Even if the MOG requests them, plan to not show them unless the B+G agree and sees them first.

Strange.

happysmileylady

THank you everyone for your responses.

For just a little more clarification...the whole event was more for the groom's family than anything. Groom is in the airforce, came home from his first assignment for two weeks to get married and the bride and groom were immediately going to move to where he was being stationed after that leave. MOG basically said to them, "I hate to have you guys move away without SOME celebration of your wedding." Bride and groom agreed, but essentially, it wasn't their affair, if that makes sense. I never met the bride until the day of, I only knew the groom because I knew his mother from previously. Mother of the groom planned the date, time, menu, cooked the food herself (along with her family-siblings of the groom etc), provided the backyard, ordered the tent, paid for the cake, decor, set it all up, everything. The bride's level of participation was very low, and I don't believe that she truely cared one way or the other if there were pics or not. I have the impression that they bride may look at the gallery, order one or two to hang on her wall and that's it. However, several of guests, the ones from out of town, were asking about how they could get prints, so the gallery is going to be available to whoever asks the MOG for the web address and password.

All of this is a long explaination to say that basically, yes, I was there for the mother of the groom, and not so much for the bride. But, I didn't want to totally embarass the bride anymore than puking (repeatedly) through her whole reception already did.

I do suspect she is expecting. And MOG absolutly meant keept shooting the bride and groom, as she pointed to them. Knowing what I do know of her, it wasn't a complete and total surprise that she said to keep shooting, just made ME uncomfortable.

thegridrunner

Obviously, many mother in laws may have negative feelings to their new daughter in laws. I'm wondering if there are any bad ulterior motives such as embarrassing the bride for years to come. Absolutely ask the bride first or just delete them. My decision would rest with the contract.

cdonovan

Was it light hearted "Keep on shooting" or was it more of a, "OMG, this is classic blackmail material, miss this and I'll sue"

Either way, I feel bad for the bride!

happysmileylady

cdonovan wrote:

Was it light hearted "Keep on shooting" or was it more of a, "OMG, this is classic blackmail material, miss this and I'll sue"

Either way, I feel bad for the bride!

It really seemed to be mostly a "well this is just par for the course in our family, something always goes wrong, no point in trying to hide it" type of thing.

zoomer

OMG I would not have taken pictures of her being sick, I would not care what I was told. I would certainly not deliver the pictures as part of her package.
Since you did take them, I would ask the bride what she wants you to do with them. I don't care who paid you you were working for the bride.

SKnight

It's the strangest thing, those didn't come out.

Just a little white lie.

zoomer

sknight ..I like that even better.

Scott_Quier

Given my contract and the discussion(s) I have with clients both before and after signing a contract, this situation could never happen to me. I specifically tell them and call out in the contract that:

• I don't intentionally photograph that which is not flattering to the subject
• If I do get a shot that is not flattering, it doesn't see the light of day
• I, as the photographer, reserve the right and responsibility to capture the day. I'm not there to "just push the shutter button" - anyone can do that.
• I, as the photographer, reserve the right and responsibility to select those photographs to be finished and released to the client. The client may later ask if I got this or that and I may or may not satisfy the request.

But, the above is all Monday Morning Quarterbacking. I'm not a lawyer. If, at your client's request, you captured the images and depending on the wording of your contract, you may be legally obligated to release these images to your client. Tread lightly and carefully, lest you get burned.

Shima

Scott_Quier wrote:

:

• I don't intentionally photograph that which is not flattering to the subject
• If I do get a shot that is not flattering, it doesn't see the light of day
• I, as the photographer, reserve the right and responsibility to capture the day. I'm not there to "just push the shutter button" - anyone can do that.

Does your contract actually state that unflattering photos won't see the light of day? If so that's pretty awesome wording.

But yeah, I would recommend if you don't have something like Scott outlines above to definitely consider adding it to your contract for the future. You should be at your own discretion to release questionable images.

urbanaries

i make things very clear from the beginning that I don't care WHO is paying the bill, the bride and groom are my clients, period. Nothing goes unless thru them. i've not had much issue with this...

Scott_Quier

Shima wrote:

Does your contract actually state that unflattering photos won't see the light of day? If so that's pretty awesome wording.

No, but I tell them that. My contract does state that the photographer (me ) reserves the right to select the photos that will be processed/finished/released.

studio1972

happysmileylady wrote:

Outdoor wedding reception, wedding was a JP service a week earlier, very casual affair overall. Right after bbq was served, I snagged the bride and groom for shots of them together, and wanted to try some sillouhets on a hill. Just before I pressed the shutter button, the bride squats down and bends over. At first, I thought maybe she had been stung or gotten bit by bug-she had taken her shoes off to walk up the hill. After a moment, she stood back up, we finished the pose and we went back to the reception. However, I noticed several times through the evening, she would walk off, in the bushes, in the corner, just basically away from everyone.

Then time comes for first dance of bride and groom. Music starts, they begin to dance, half way through, she walks away, manages to make it to the grass right by the head table and pukes. I stop shooting and am unsure what to do, so I stand there holding my camera trying to look away, doing nothing, as she continues to puke and basically everyone else stares at her. The groom at least was trying to comfort her.

Then, mother of the groom, who was who had hired me and was hosting the reception, tells me to keep shooting! So I fired off a couple of shots of the bride bending over, someone, an aunt I think, attempted finally to give her some privacy by holding up her gauzy shawl, and the groom basically standing there, obviously concerned but unsure what else to do.

I am not sure what to do with these shots. Obviously the mother of the groom-they one who paid me and was the decision maker for the entire thing, wanted them-obviously wanted a FULL accounting of the whole evening. So I want to include them in her selection. But, I am sure the BRIDE will not want these shots available for everyone in her family (who already thinks she has married "below" her and almost didn't show up to the reception) and friends to see and order from.

wwyd?

Sorry, but this thread is ridiculous. You shouldn't have taken the photos of the poor bride in the first place, whatever the MOG said. If she wants photos of somebody puking she should take them herself, but that's not what wedding photographers do!

The fact that having taken these pics, you are seriously considering releasing them, that's just crazy. :puke1

angevin1

Scott_Quier wrote:

But, the above is all Monday Morning Quarterbacking. I'm not a lawyer. If, at your client's request, you captured the images and depending on the wording of your contract, you may be legally obligated to release these images to your client. Tread lightly and carefully, lest you get burned.

Oh yeah! Light and carefully. With the dynamics mentioned regarding the B&G parties, there's no love here between sides and you def don't want middle ground. You asked wwyd? I cannot answer that, because I would not have shot her puking. I would have sat my camera down and gone to her aid. It might be par for the course, but you are not going to win any friends from this event, no matter what you do I'd venture.

A sincere good luck!

look at that contract.

happysmileylady

studio1972 wrote:

Sorry, but this thread is ridiculous. You shouldn't have taken the photos of the poor bride in the first place, whatever the MOG said. If she wants photos of somebody puking she should take them herself, but that's not what wedding photographers do!

The fact that having taken these pics, you are seriously considering releasing them, that's just crazy. :puke1

Well, I am glad that you haven't ever shot something you were later not sure that you should have. I on the other hand haven't been doing this long enough to have ever encountered a situation like this and tend to follow the thought of, when in doubt, shoot first, ask questions later. Because if I shoot it and later realize I shouldn't have, I can toss it....but if I didn't shoot and later realize I should have, I can't fix that.

Like I said, never had a bride walk away from her groom in the middle of the first dance and puke in front of everyone...it was kinda a WTF just happened there moment. And yes, in that wtf moment, I did what my friend and customer asked. And obviously having posted the thread, I realized later it probably wasn't something I should have shot, but like Scott said, MMQ here. If you have never later questioned what you shot, well, then obviously you are the better photographer.

happysmileylady

My contract does state that the photographer (me ) reserves the right to select the photos that will be processed/finished/released.

See, I don't really have anything like this regarding either way (though now know that I probably should) but I DO have in there that I am not responsible for things out of my control, such as weather, camera malfunction, missing people etc. So the whole "those shots didn't turn out" is probably the best route.

thegridrunner

sounds like a good plan.