Need Help with "About" Page

Dedalus77

Hey gang, I'm struggling mightily with writing an about page to go along with my smugmug site and blog and I'm hoping you can all help me out. Here is a link to the page as it is right now: http://tjdphoto.wordpress.com/about-2/. I know it is missing something, but I'm not sure what it is. Who knew it would be this hard to write about myself!

Snowgirl

Dedalus77 wrote:

Hey gang, I'm struggling mightily with writing an about page to go along with my smugmug site and blog and I'm hoping you can all help me out. Here is a link to the page as it is right now: http://tjdphoto.wordpress.com/about-2/. I know it is missing something, but I'm not sure what it is. Who knew it would be this hard to write about myself!

You're right. It lacks punch.

I make my living from two sources - freelance writing and photography. As an experienced writer with over 25 years of experience - I STILL can't write my own stuff. It's hard to separate yourself from the topic.

What I do for my own promotional materials is to write a draft and make sure I've got all of the relevant info. included - and then I send it off to a colleague who edits and fixes it up for me. We have a reciprocal deal for this type of thing between the two of us - she can't write her own promotional stuff either.

So - find a writing partner that you can work with if you want your About Me page to be effective. (No, - this is not a solicitation - it would really help you if you found someone who actually knew you).

BradfordBenn

Best trick I have heard, and from many a successful writer, is to read it out loud and take note of what changes you make while reading. It is even better if you can "present" to someone not just reading to yourself. I use it quite often at work - heck I even do it on important e-mails - and it works. Good luck.

Sam

J,

Here are my thoughts take it for what it's worth. Disclaimer: I barely have an 8th grade edumacation so my writing skills ain't anything to write home about.

I think your about me does lack punch and individuality. Just for the record I "hate" (Ok strong word here, uhmmmm, ok lets say don't like it none) using the third person. Also not keen on the standard I have loved photography, art, etc. since I got my very first camera at age 6.

I also strongly believe you should write it yourself. What makes you, you? Where have you been? What have you done? What motivates you? Etc. Now this is very important. Don't make it up! If all you want is a pretty, flowery about me, hire a professional writer and just tell them to write something catchy, true or untrue.

This will take awhile. When you are done then ask for help in proof reading, polishing and get opinions. Then make YOUR decision and go with it. Your photography is yours, be it a hobby or profession. Rarely in life do we have the opportunity to do something exactly like we want to.

Take advantage of it!

Sam

W.W. Webster

Dedalus77 wrote:

I know it is missing something, but I'm not sure what it is.

I wouldn't be too tough on yourself - I've seen a lot worse!

You haven't talked about your first camera at the age of eight, you haven't waxed on about your beautiful wife and children and the motivation they provide for your photography, you haven't praised the Lord, you haven't talked about the photographic 'learning' or 'journey' you are on, you have not written in the third person but have used 'I', you have used appropriate spelling, grammar, sentence and paragraph construction so it doesn't appear English is a second language for you, your layout is clear and professional ...

IMHO you have a very pleasing About page. Well done!

Dedalus77

Thanks for all your input everyone. I think it just needs some tweaking, something to make it sound a little less contrite. I'm sure it'll get there eventually and all the suggestions are quite helpful, ultimately I probably won't ever be 100% happy with it (I just hate self-promotion and yet that is what we must do).

kd2

Don't underestimate the power of a good "about" page. I've learned that people actually do read it. A long-lost high school friend found me on Facebook, then directed my website to another friend. That person read my "About Me" page and nominated me for a national-level award. Two months later I was onstage receiving my award.

All because I decided to have fun with my "about me" page and let people really know a little more about me.

msf

Im in the same situation. I'm designing my new website and i'm trying to figure out my "about me" page. I did some research online, checking out other photographer websites, and the one that I liked the best showed a sense of humor. He gave a point form list of his history and such, and a couple points was a joke, referred to the one above it.

I was thinking of doing something like that, but I wonder how potential customers would view it.

An example would be....

* My passion for photography started by shooting wildlife
* no wildlife was harmed in the shooting
* except for a pair of pants, that was harmed by a crazy duck

zoomer

Having read your About Me section I now know exactly 0 more things than I knew about you before I read it.

My suggestion would be to start over with it.

Agree there is nothing harder than writing about yourself....realistically you can get by fine without an About Me section.

People don't care about you, they care about themselves, try to find a way to tie your About Me section into proving information that a potential clients wants to see which is, (what is he going to do for me?)

If you read mine you can see I gave up on writing about me and wrote about my assistant who they spend all the time with anyway. I wrote the About Me section to actually be about the client, hopefully at the end of it they don't notice I didn't really tell them anything. Could it be better OH YEAH, but I got tired of messing with it so there it is.

Dedalus77

zoomer wrote:

Having read your About Me section I now know exactly 0 more things than I knew about you before I read it.

That's a really good point, I hadn't really thought about it that way before.

I've got my sister, who is an excellent writer and good at promotion, taking a look at to see what she can do with it. I've also been looking at what other photographers put on their sites. I'm hoping to have some revisions up this weekend.

Once again, thanks to everyone who took the time to read it over and give me their thoughts.