First Wedding Tomorrow-Need Etiquette Advice and General Tips

Dionysus

I'm sort of over the nervousness now, since its right around the corner, and that nervousness has now turned into just plain anxiety to (pardon the terminology) just "pop my cherry" and get this over with.

I went to the rehearsal tonight so I know what the plan is for all the people during the ceremony tomorrow. I talked to the priest and made sure to ask if there are any personal "no-no's" he has, and if he wanted me to avoid being around certain areas. His only stipulation was (jokingly) "just dont get between me and the couple" LOL...so pretty much a go ahead with anything else, as long as I keep to taste and reason.

Are there any special rules of etiquette I should know? Is there any place thats taboo? Like I would imagine directly behind the priest looking over his shoulder would be rude, and take attention away from the couple. How far away is fair enough comfort zone distance? and where should I avoid being? Is it ok to walk around back and forth during the whole ceremony? Or are there parts where I should be perfectly still.

I'd be lying if I didnt say I was just a tad nervous. My work boss, and her husband will be there, and they are professional photographers as well...and though I AM amateur...i don't want to LOOK amateur.

PLEASE HELP!

jotta

Dionysus wrote:

I'm sort of over the nervousness now, since its right around the corner, and that nervousness has now turned into just plain anxiety to (pardon the terminology) just "pop my cherry" and get this over with.

I went to the rehearsal tonight so I know what the plan is for all the people during the ceremony tomorrow. I talked to the priest and made sure to ask if there are any personal "no-no's" he has, and if he wanted me to avoid being around certain areas. His only stipulation was (jokingly) "just dont get between me and the couple" ...so pretty much a go ahead with anything else, as long as I keep to taste and reason.

Are there any special rules of etiquette I should know? Is there any place thats taboo? Like I would imagine directly behind the priest looking over his shoulder would be rude, and take attention away from the couple. How far away is fair enough comfort zone distance? and where should I avoid being? Is it ok to walk around back and forth during the whole ceremony? Or are there parts where I should be perfectly still.

I'd be lying if I didnt say I was just a tad nervous. My work boss, and her husband will be there, and they are professional photographers as well...and though I AM amateur...i don't want to LOOK amateur.

PLEASE HELP!

Hi there and good luck tomorrow. I think the best way to approach (and it works good for me) is to relax and enjoy what you are doing.
If you already went to the rehearsal you have a good mental image of location, shots, light and all that. Put your plan into action. Stick to what you planned in the rehearsal, and be as transparent as you can be. At times you will have to stick your nose in there and be in the way, and if you don't you might miss important shots. Just be "transparent". Moving around is ok when it's done on a "behind the scene" style. You will have to move fast, but it will work, and don't forget that you can always re-enact moments that you miss.
Have a good time, and shoot away.

LeeHowell

For a standard church layout, here's my typical wedding dance steps :-P

During the processional, position yourself on the left/right hand side between the last row of guests and the aisle entrance...Crouch down and get some good shots of the bridal party as they enter. May have to move around if they have a unity candle...The bride will pass by - Make sure if you screw up, it's not here. Once the bride passes, stand up and get a shot of the groom as he sees her coming down the aisle.

Make your way up the left/right hand side and get up towards the front pews for shots of mother, fathers, family - Bride/groom smiling at each other.

Make your way to the back of the aisle, and if you have a decent zoom lens you can get some shots of them putting on the rings - If you've got some more time, you might be able to move around a bit more for other shots...Then make sure you're in the center for "the kiss shot" and you'll want to step to the left/right to get shots of the recessional.

Of course - No wedding is textbook, and you probably can't follow all that to a T, but it should help give you some direction.

As far as being mindful of things...Usually, if there's prayer going on I hold off on snapping...Unless the flower girl is picking her nose :-P

Good luck!

PhotoLasVegas

jotta wrote:

Hi there and good luck tomorrow. I think the best way to approach (and it works good for me) is to relax and enjoy what you are doing.
If you already went to the rehearsal you have a good mental image of location, shots, light and all that. Put your plan into action. Stick to what you planned in the rehearsal, and be as transparent as you can be. At times you will have to stick your nose in there and be in the way, and if you don't you might miss important shots. Just be "transparent". Moving around is ok when it's done on a "behind the scene" style. You will have to move fast, but it will work, and don't forget that you can always re-enact moments that you miss.
Have a good time, and shoot away.

Great advice except for the last sentence... NEVER rely on "re-enactments"! If you want to look un-professional, then re-enact something. A professional gets it the first time!

Think about it, the B&G every time they look at the "ring shot", they'll KNOW it wasn't the "REAL" ring exchange.

Now, discussing ahead of time and saying, "if you'd like me to be very unobtrusive, then I likely won't get that "perfect" ring shot that you see in all the magazines... so if it's OK with you, I'll get the best 'live' shot I can, and then we'll do a close-up, magazine-posed ring shot afterwards". Remember, manage expectations!

You could do the same thing if there's a unity candle ceremony - explain AHEAD OF TIME that the best photos are from BEHIND, but of course you'd never get on the altar during the ceremony, so if it's ok, let's re-enact that later on.

REMEMBER, you are probably the ONLY one there that knows it's your first time! FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!

Oh, and for the formal photos, make sure you have a pre-set list of everyone and every group you want to get - you WILL forget in the rush! And I'd strongly suggest that when it's time for formals, to enlist the help of the MOH and BM to gather the next group (ask the bride if that's ok, first!).

And before the formals, make a quick announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, I know the formal photos are kind of boring, and you want to get to the reception, so with your help I can get thru these very quickly. For those of you with cameras - PLEASE, let me get the group shots first, so please don't take your photo while I am doing mine - and if you are part of the group being photographed, PLEASE look ONLY at me during my photo. After I get my shot, I'll say, "OK" and everyone else can have a few seconds to get their shots. Thank you for your cooperation".

That works REALLY well, and sets the stage for you to be in control. People see you as the professional and they WILL listen to you!

If you discuss THAT part with the B&G ahead of time, then you have also set the groundwork to give a couple nice reminders, and then if people still aren't respecting your photo time, you can nicely ask the B&G to take care of it

sweet caroline

Besides keeping a respectful distance, I don't click during any prayers. You are there to do a job, but it's not a photo shoot. It's a sacred ceremony, pretty much no matter what your culture of religion, and living those moments is much more important that having them photographed. For every wedding I've done, granted I've only had about a dozen, I've been praised for my calmness and unobtrusiveness. That has also enabled me to get some intimate moments between family members.

Aisles are safe, avoid getting in front of guests or right up there with the wedding party. I don't go past the front row of guests, but sometimes I stay further back depending on the situation. I move to different positions by going around the last row of guests.

I've learned that it does pay to be commanding during formals, in a friendly way. The rest of the time, I blend in a watch the moments unfold.

Good luck and have fun.

Caroline

marikris

Also, don't forget to keep hydrated and maybe keep a protein bar or two just in case!

wadesworld

And before the formals, make a quick announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, I know the formal photos are kind of boring, and you want to get to the reception, so with your help I can get thru these very quickly. For those of you with cameras - PLEASE, let me get the group shots first, so please don't take your photo while I am doing mine - and if you are part of the group being photographed, PLEASE look ONLY at me during my photo. After I get my shot, I'll say, "OK" and everyone else can have a few seconds to get their shots. Thank you for your cooperation".

Agreed. And make sure you have a plan to make the formals go quickly. My wife and I wanted to do the traditional "not see the bride" thing, so almost all our formals were after the ceremony. Our photographer was NOT fast, and it ended up taking like an hour and a half for the formals (longer than the ceremony itself). This was during the days of film, but it was still ridiculous.

By the time we got to reception, 80% of the guests had had to leave already. Knowing how long the ones that remained had been there, we felt we had to quickly say thank you, wolf down some cake and get out of there. Needless to say, not a very happy memory.