Confusing friendship/business and weddings!

Chrisq

So long story....I dont normally shoot weddings, only under duress or extreme circumstances...and such was the case when my friend and sons riding instructor came to me and begged me to shoot her last minute wedding to her deploying husband. Now, we are friends, but she is also my sons riding instructor/trainer, and I do pay her her full wages for that, no savings. My gift to her was shooting the wedding.....and I gave her a few special photos. But what should I charge for a DVD of the images? I warned her they would not be full res. She wants to get an album from me at some point....but wants some prints done as well....and from some other labs other than smugmug and wants me to upload them! I have problems and issues with this on many levels.....I am not trying to make money off of this, but would like to get paid for the time and energy its taken to edit the 90 photos she wants the most.....and am trying to keep her to my smugmug account but she is crying poor at the $$$ it was going to cost even with just a small dollar or two "profit" from each photo......sigh. ethical dilemma? or should I just let it go? I mean, I do pay her for HER services.....?
Confuzzled.:scratch thanks

VayCayMom

I have only shot 2 weddings but my comments come from my life experience. Don't hold your breath waiting for her to get an album. She already told you she is cheap. Once she gets the cd she doesn't need you even if they are low res.
In your shoes I might put a limit on what I would be willing to do, maybe 20 images, as your gift and then name a price for the rest of the 90 she wants. Maybe throw in a few really small images for facebook etc. Make her pay for the rest.
Good Luck with that, but don't let her abuse you, and she has left many hints that she really wants a lot for nothing!

mmmatt

So your gift to her of the non-professional shooting of her wedding is low res files only and you bitching about not making any profit. Some gift! If you are going to charge someone for a service do that up front, not on the back end after you told them it is a gift. just give her full res files and be done with it. If you want to barter for the album with lessons that may be a good idea. But for the prints just let it go imho and give her the files. Are the images even any good?

I'm not sure why you are bitching about your gift not lining your pockets enough, and I can only guess that is where she is coming from if you haven't talked about profit before now.

Matt

shming

Give her the photos and move on --- The situation already sounds very unpleasant. Why prolong it? Like Matt said. It was your gift.

System

If the photos are a gift, why are you wanting to get paid?
In my limited experience shooting for profit, the cost is talked about up front...not after the event has taken place.

DWS

If scope of work/cost was not discussed up front, move on, and chalk it up to experience.

Sam

For the umpteenth time..........................the time to discus terms and prices is before the services are rendered not after.

If it was a gift it was a gift.

Sam

tjk60

Trade. barter. don't know what riding lessons cost, but they can't be free. Trade the files for some significantly free lessons...

Glort

I agree with the above.

It seems she realises the TAKING of the pics was the gift and she has to pay for the pics otherwise she wouldn't be arguing about the smugbub thing.

If she doesn't have any money, work it out on the cost of YOU not paying her money your for the riding lessons. Just as good really.
I'd even be offering to do the album for her for a negotiated amount of free lessons at your normal rate ( however recently you just invented it) that covers your creative fee and the images.

Learn from this experience though and do put the agreement on paper so there is no misunderstandings or arguments later.

sweet caroline

I get it that the gift was the shooting and editing. I have waived sitting fees for friends and they paid for the prints or disc. I don't think the gift situation has to be all or nothing. But, yes, those details should be clear in advance.

You want to control the quality, so give her a coupon to buy prints at cost through smugmug. Have her send out the link to guests and they can buy at your regular price. Ask why she wants a disc of low res images. Make it clear that you want your work represented by prints from a pro lab. If she wants them to post on Facebook, for example, maybe you can just post some for her or post a link to the gallery on her wall.

If you don't make a dime, just let it go. I would seriously offer a trade for a disc.