The Last Day

bdcolen

I am now able to share this set of photos, one of which I am posting here...I've done several edits and sequenced them - and I know they can do with another editing, but I've wrestled with them enough for now.

redleash

BD - These were very difficult to look at but the image quality is amazing. I am always impressed at the emotions you capture. I imagine it took some courage for this family to let you in at this time.

Lauren

dbveto

Very Powerful.
I think they are great, but I could not look at to many because it brought back my own memories.

Eia

Having just lost my Dad recently I can feel their emotions that you captured in their face. Very hard to look at but honorable too.

Sam

WOW!

Hard to articulate my feeling on this one. I think that for anyone who has gone through this the image stabs at your heart dredging up our own emotional memories to compound the powerful emotions captured.

Sam

Harryb

Very powerful BD and it must have been a real tough set to process. I lost my younger brother this year. When I flew up to NY to see him before he passed on I considered taking my camera but opted against it.

Richard

I just finished looking at the gallery and I think it's the best work I've seen from you to date, which is saying a lot. That's as real as it gets. I am amazed that you could keep focused on the job considering he was an old friend. When my father died a couple of years ago, I made the decision not to take my camera to the nursing home during his final weeks. I told myself that they would be images that I would prefer to forget, but I think the real truth is that some primitive part of me felt that taking pictures would somehow make it official that he was dying and I just couldn't deal with that. So far, I don't regret the decision. I think that one of the things that makes your series so powerful is that almost all of us have been through the experience of losing a loved one ourselves and so the echos are unmistakable. A masterful job of capturing reality in its most universal and inescapable form.

bdcolen

Richard wrote: »

I just finished looking at the gallery and I think it's the best work I've seen from you to date, which is saying a lot. That's as real as it gets. I am amazed that you could keep focused on the job considering he was an old friend. When my father died a couple of years ago, I made the decision not to take my camera to the nursing home during his final weeks. I told myself that they would be images that I would prefer to forget, but I think the real truth is that some primitive part of me felt that taking pictures would somehow make it official that he was dying and I just couldn't deal with that. So far, I don't regret the decision. I think that one of the things that makes your series so powerful is that almost all of us have been through the experience of losing a loved one ourselves and so the echos are unmistakable. A masterful job of capturing reality in its most universal and inescapable form.

Thank you, all. The reality is that taking them wasn't all that difficult - I find that the camera provides distance in uncomfortable situations, and by concentrating on capturing images, rather than thinking about what is happening, I am able to remove myself a bit from the reality of what's going on in front of and around me. On the other hand, as Harry noted, the processing was the difficult part, because working with the images, as opposed to working to capture them, brings everything back without the shield provided by the viewfinder.

Ironically, I didn't go intending to photograph this way. When I arranged for the visit, the end still seemed farther off, and while I took a camera bag, I also took my banjo and the puppy Banjo as Bill and I are pathetically bad banjo players and he wanted us to play together. But on the way to New Hampshire from Boston I got stuck in traffic and when I called Bill's wife to tell her I'd be delayed, she told me that he had suffered a stroke a few hours earlier. So by the time I got there, while there were brief flickers of recognition, and times he seemed aware of what was going on around him, conversation, much less banjo playing, was out of the question. So at that point I asked his wife if she'd like me to photograph what was happening. She thought for a minute, and then said "yes," so I pulled out the cameras and started shooting.

Truth be told, I know this set still needs a tough edit. My best and toughest critic - my daughter - thinks they there is allot of redundancy here, and she's right. There are a few quite intentional sequences, but even so, I'll be cutting over time. I started with about 130, got that down to 70 or so, then I believe I posted around 50, and since posting I've cut them down to about 40. And so it goes.

Again, thanks. And for those who found that these brought back painful memories I say consider the support and love evident in these images - I'm sure you provided the same to your loved one.

rainbow

I ditto everyone on the power packed in these photos. The posted photo is incredibly well-done and conveys so much of what is transpiring.

Agree that the set may be repetitious to those not involved, but some repetitious shots may be important to those directly involved or give them a choice between similar ones...

lizzard_nyc

B.D.,
I've not yet had anyone really close to me other than grandparents very long ago pass away--so these do not stirr up old emotions and they don't particularly make me sad.

What it does is show me how a family handles this challenging situation, one I really can't imagine and something I've only seen on tv. You did an incredible job not only capturing the sadness of the moment, but in a couple of shots you got some laughs or smiles/laughs which I think make the set even more powerful. I can only imagine the range of emotions one must feel.

Also w/ a set such as this it would be hard to say anything negative, so I'm glad you daughter pointed out about weeding out a few more--she is right, it will make the set stronger.

bdcolen

lizzard_nyc wrote: »

B.D.,
I've not yet had anyone really close to me other than grandparents very long ago pass away--so these do not stirr up old emotions and they don't particularly make me sad.

What it does is show me how a family handles this challenging situation, one I really can't imagine and something I've only seen on tv. You did an incredible job not only capturing the sadness of the moment, but in a couple of shots you got some laughs or smiles/laughs which I think make the set even more powerful. I can only imagine the range of emotions one must feel.

Also w/ a set such as this it would be hard to say anything negative, so I'm glad you daughter pointed out about weeding out a few more--she is right, it will make the set stronger.

Thanks, Liz - Your comments are particularly helpful given your own luck in not having gone through something like this. I was torn about including the smiling pics, and cut some out. But ultimately I decided that they show - I hope - that life goes on, and that their can be lighter moments even at the most serious, difficult of times. Also, my hope was that the images convey the way family members came together - what you are seeing here are two daughters, a son, a wife, a daughter-in-law and a niece - and a friend from high school who, like Bill was, is an Episcopal priest - and could provide love and support.

And, yes, I will be making more cuts.

divamum

I have not yet looked at the set yet, simply because there are some things I haven't quite processed with my grandmother's death, and I'm not sure I *can* look at them yet.

But what the entire idea reminds me profoundly of the "death images" so beloved by the Victorians (and used to memorable effect in "The Others"). I think (speaking for myself, anyway) we've often ridiculed the Victorian era for its reverence - and, to some, morbid fascination - with all that surrounds the death experience, yet I wonder if maybe their ideas weren't so crazy after all in providing a different way to grieve.... and remember.

Just musings. As always, BD, my gratitude to you for what you share in this forum, and for your ability to make me think (and not only about photography). Thank you.

bdcolen

divamum wrote: »

I have not yet looked at the set yet, simply because there are some things I haven't quite processed with my grandmother's death, and I'm not sure I *can* look at them yet.

But what the entire idea reminds me profoundly of the "death images" so beloved by the Victorians (and used to memorable effect in "The Others"). I think (speaking for myself, anyway) we've often ridiculed the Victorian era for its reverence - and, to some, morbid fascination - with all that surrounds the death experience, yet I wonder if maybe their ideas weren't so crazy after all in providing a different way to grieve.... and remember.

Just musings. As always, BD, my gratitude to you for what you share in this forum, and for your ability to make me think (and not only about photography). Thank you.

Thanks, Divamum.

dbveto

They are some very powerful and well done. When I said I had some problems looking at all of them it was not because of sadness (I don't think so) They brought up some memories of my parents passing especially my Dad.

I don't think it is a bad thing having those memories brought back.

Again the series was well done.

bdcolen

dbveto wrote: »

They are some very powerful and well done. When I said I had some problems looking at all of them it was not because of sadness (I don't think so) They brought up some memories of my parents passing especially my Dad.

I don't think it is a bad thing having those memories brought back.

Again the series was well done.

Thanks so much. I think any images of this sort stir up all kinds of memories - if we have them - in all of us. I know they do that to me.