When The Bride Invites "Friend" Photographer

Scootersbabygirl · August 23, 2012

This happened a few weeks ago and, honestly, it's taken me this long to finally calm down about the situation. I had a wedding a few weeks ago and was excited because it was local and because the bride and groom were gorgeous (always good for advertising, right?). I get to bride's parents house and notice a woman running around with a Canon DSLR taking shots. I didn't think much of it because who doesn't have a DSLR at a wedding now a days (or a point-n-shoot, or a friggin iPad taking photos). Then she started doing some things I hadn't seen a casual photographer at a wedding doing. She grabbed the shoes and set them up for a shot, she started messing with the dress, ect.

It got worse at the church where she was actively pulling people aside to take photos (all in the wedding party and quite often the bride was included). But my jaw literally dropped when we started to do formals at the church. I was getting things set up with my assistant and the families an the bride and groom had just gotten to their spot when I see the "friend" walking away from the couple and them rubbing their ring fingers. Um, what? SHE TOOK THEIR RINGS FOR RING SHOTS DURING FORMALS!!!! I made a comment at the time and the bride was all, "I don't need them for formals, do I?" I explained that it's customary to wear your rings during formals and that I generally take them during dinner when they're less-needed and she started to look concerned when a friend near her waves her hands and goes, "it's fine, it's fine, leave it, you'll never notice." *sigh*

THEN we went to the reception location and got to ride up this beautiful tram to the top for photos - even though it was raining and you couldn't see anything other than clouds, the tram itself was fun to shoot in. Every time I'd set something up on one side of the tram, she'd be on the other setting things up!

Now normally I don't let someone taking photos over my shoulder bother me - it simply doesn't. I know that my work needs to stand on it's own and they're more than welcome to take the shots that they want in my opinion, but I've NEVER seen someone so blatantly trying to be the wedding photographer. She also snagged the rings from the couple AGAIN at the reception location and started doing table couple shots - all with her little DSLR and her pop-up flash. (in a very dark reception area).

I was at a loss. I still am. On the ride home I told my assistant that I was ready to jump off the tram just to get away from the "friend". I'm sure you seasoned pros have experienced a situation like this before - what have you done? I'll be honest and tell you that it shook me so much that I really didn't find my groove until the reception was in full-swing, and I do NOT want to let this shake me again. Advice is highly appreciated!!

Sam · August 23, 2012

I took a look at your pricing and would like to know how you can shoot a wedding and pay for an assistant charging $675.00 ?

I need to learn your secret so I can get me a couple of them there cheap assistants.

PS: Do they do house cleaning?

You should cover the subject of other photographers with the bride and groom prior to the wedding. Also have a go to person, bridesmaid, wedding coordinator, etc to help deal with these and other issues. Always better to have a member of the wedding deal with friends and family than you a stranger.

If all else fails.....................I think you need to nip this in the bud immediately when you see the extent of the photography / disruption. Talk to the friend / photographer and explain that you have been hired to photograph and document the wedding and you take this very seriously and the distractions of another photographer directing posing and competing can negatively affect the once in a lifetime images you are capturing.

As a VERY last resort I would inform the bride and or groom (probably the groom) about the issue and ask for help.

Your really are caught in a no win situation if the above doesn't solve the issue. No wants to make a scene at a wedding, and you would probably suffer if you did what you really wanted to do and told the other photographer to stop or your gona put the camera where the sun don't shine.

If that doesn't work, do the best you can and don't worry about it. You we can not control everything. If they question why aunt Gertrude and uncle Horrice weren't in the family formals tell them they were off with your other photographer.

Sam

Scootersbabygirl · August 23, 2012

LMAO Sam - well for starters I live in a very small location and things here are nowhere near as expensive as they are in other places. I have a boss in LA (I do freelance writing as well) who pays three times what I do for his house and it's half the size of mine, so that's one way I keep my pricing down. There are not a lot of "rich" people in this area and my thoughts were a few things -

1. I have never been able to study under another photographer so I question if I'm good enough to even charge on a regular basis.

2. The more affordable I am, the more weddings I'll get, thus the more money, ect.

3. I want to grow it slowly so that I can make sure that I provide high quality service and am able to handle everything.

My "assistant" is my cousin and gets paid per wedding, she's not someone I pay on a weekly basis. I've only been doing this for 3 or 4 years (GOD I can't remember!) BUT by the way the business is growing I may need to change a few things! I had 16 weddings booked this summer and am now booking up like crazy for senior shoots and family shoots, and I am building a studio downstairs in my house.

Thank you for your opinion, I really appreciate it!! I should have talked with the other photographer, I just worried that in doing so she would go back to the bride and I would irritate her. *sigh* For the most part I leave weddings with all the guests going "OMG you are amazing!" even though they haven't seen the photos yet - customer service is a huge thing for me and I want to make sure that it continues to be, so yeah, I tend to not know what to do when this type of situation arises.

mercphoto · August 23, 2012

As per point 2, you might be surprised how many times you get MORE business if you raise your prices. Sam is right, I also can't understand how you can charge $675 for a wedding, send part of that to an assistant, send a portion of what remains away in taxes, and have anything left over that makes it even remotely profitable. I'll give you a hint: in 2010 when I was doing motorsports photography at the grass roots level if I made $675 from an event I considered that break-even. And that type of photography is less stressful and less work than weddings. And I had no assistant to pay for.

But let's say you're right, that being cheaper gets you more weddings. The only thing worse than busting your butt with one project for a modest sum of money is busting your butt constantly for a modest sum of money.

Want to know if number 1 is still a concern? Double your prices, see if you still get bookings.

Ed911 · August 23, 2012

Your contract needs a clause that states that you are the primary photographer and that you will not tolerate other professionally equipped guests getting in your way. And, that the bride and groom and wedding coordinator are expected to keep said persons from interfering. And, that you are not responsible for any interruptions, missed images, bad photos as a result of these guest photographers and their equipment.

During the interview with the client, don't forget to ask if the bride or groom has a guest that will be shooting the event too...and if so, explain that those people will not be allowed to interfere with your work, and tell them that, it will be their responsibility to ensure that you have full first priority access to everything that you will need to do your job...including priority in all shooting situations, which is basically the entire wedding venue and ceremony, and at the reception and that it's their job to keep other photographers from interfering.

You should have taken charge and said...look...I know that you want to get some good images for the family...but, I'm the one that they spent their money on, and unless you want them to get less than they bargained for, please allow me to conduct the session...I will allow time for you and the other guest photographers to take pictures after I have what I need.

Taking off with the rings during the formals...what the hell is up with that. This woman must have been a full tilt idiot. I would have had to say something. Sure enough, if the rings are missing, someone's going to miss them.

I feel for you...fix your contract...and go over that clause with the customer when you interview. This is why you have a contract...and why you set up the shooting environment during the interview and have everyone on the same page before you accept any money an take the first image.

When the woman on the sideline said that the rings wouldn't matter, you should have quickly corrected her...and the rings should have come back...before any images were shot. What does she know, you're the photograher...the expert.

I have the feeling that you aren't a take charge person. You need to be...and you will be, if you survive in this industry.

Don't be afraid to take charge and run the show...when it comes to your work. You'll never get the respect that you deserve, if you don't.

On the lighter side, now you know...next time, you'll be prepared.

Matthew Saville · August 23, 2012

Ed911 wrote: »

Your contract needs a clause that states that you are the primary photographer and that you will not tolerate other professionally equipped guests getting in your way. And, that the bride and groom and wedding coordinator are expected to keep said persons from interfering. And, that you are not responsible for any interruptions, missed images, bad photos as a result of these guest photographers and their equipment.

During the interview with the client, don't forget to ask if the bride or groom has a guest that will be shooting the event too...and if so, explain that those people will not be allowed to interfere with your work, and tell them that, it will be their responsibility to ensure that you have full first priority access to everything that you will need to do your job...including priority in all shooting situations, which is basically the entire wedding venue and ceremony, and at the reception and that it's their job to keep other photographers from interfering.

You should have taken charge and said...look...I know that you want to get some good images for the family...but, I'm the one that they spent their money on, and unless you want them to get less than they bargained for, please allow me to conduct the session...I will allow time for you and the other guest photographers to take pictures after I have what I need.
.........

This is the bottom line. If you didn't bring it up ahead of time, these are the consequences. I've had this happen before as well, and now I just bring it up with every client. If it still happens on the wedding day, I don't make a big fuss if I can avoid it, I just make friends with them asap and try and be very outgoing all day long, so that when it comes down to it and I need to say "hey! Get out of my way!" ...it comes across as slightly joking, but still a clear message.

=Matt=

NagoC50 · August 23, 2012

Good advice from all. I would also add with your pricing strategy -- it's low to the point that the B&G may not be valuing you enough. If they have some more skin in the game, I suspect that your clients may not be so accommodating to allow a friend to build a portfolio and potentially interfere with the paid professional.

Matthew Saville · August 24, 2012

NagoC50 wrote: »

Good advice from all. I would also add with your pricing strategy -- it's low to the point that the B&G may not be valuing you enough. If they have some more skin in the game, I suspect that your clients may not be so accommodating to allow a friend to build a portfolio and potentially interfere with the paid professional.

I agree with this. You may think that your prices are fair and that you are paying yourself as well as you can given your location or target market, but let me take a different approach to this- whatever your location, your prices should still be going UP from year to year. If clients are coming in your door and saying "yes" without batting an eye, or if just in general more than 75% of your inquiries are booking, then maybe you could get away with a 10-20% price hike!

I know this sounds like a cheap sales tactic, but it should be your goal to make each client stretch just a little. If they come in your door knowing they're only going to book your lowest package, and they walk out your door not having spent a penny more, they will not value your service nearly as much as if they walk out your door telling themselves "well, we spent a little more than we wanted to, but it's gonna be so worth it!"

Another thing is, you have to look past "where I live" and just tell yourself that no matter where you live, there is always a high-end market. I struggled with this a great deal, and I live in Orange County! Why? Because I wasn't raised "in the money". It took me forever to realize that I just had to reach out and be persistent about connecting with different markets, but once I did that, I more than doubled my prices overnight. It's all about who you know, and if all the people you know are just as middle-class as you, (which these days means, well, poor.) ...then I hate to say it, but you gotta step it up a "class".

Of course then again, high-end clients are a huge pain to deal with sometimes, and maybe you just don't want to go down that road. I can relate! There is something to be said for just doing the best dang business you can, in the price range / clientele that you LOVE doing business with.

Anyways, just think about things from that perspective a little bit. Weigh your options, and think about whether or not there are opportunities you didn't think existed in your price range / area.

The bottom line is that you gotta find ways to turn each client into your own advocate in these types of situations. They should be calling up these types of uncle bobs / aunt bobbie ahead of time, and telling them to freakin' chill out and let you do your thing.

Snowgirl · August 24, 2012

I've learned the above lessons the hard way. I too live in an economically depressed area and was afraid to raise prices both for weddings and for family or individual portrait shoots. Consequently I also suffered the "clients don't appreciate me" situation. I have since changed my tactics and changed my prices. My attitude (kept to myself of course) is, if you don't value my work and services enough to pay (mid-range in my area) prices, then I don't want to do the work. Period. Every time I've gotten involved in an 'inexpensive' shoot for someone I've been burned both professionally and in terms of wasted time and effort. no more.

I've figured out my cost of doing business. I need to bring in $75 an hour to keep my business profitable (not making me rich, but paying my bills). Do I MAKE that money? No way. Our income taxes in Canada re high - 35-40% so that goes off the top. Then there are all the other costs plus paying myself a living wage. Any less than that and I should shut my doors. If it's going to be your business then you have to approach it as a business, not a low-paying hobby. Just a few thoughts.

Matthew Saville · August 26, 2012

Snowgirl wrote: »

...Every time I've gotten involved in an 'inexpensive' shoot for someone I've been burned both professionally and in terms of wasted time and effort. no more.....

Bingo.

=Matt=

justus · September 4, 2012

Ditto
Ditto what has already been said. Wedding guests will run roughshod over you if you don't or won't take charge of your wedding party. They always tend to have opinions anyway about how things should be done so make sure you walk in with a "take charge" attitude (nicely, of course) and I probably would have stopped what I was doing as soon as I saw what was happening with the rings and reminded the bride that she may not get what she paid for if I don't have access to the rings during the formal photos, etc. My contract specifically states also that other photographers will not be at the wedding without my prior knowledge and written approval...

I ALWAYS bring up this scenario when meeting with wedding couples prior to the big day. It's such a constant issue at the actual weddings, it needs to be addressed up front during the pre-wedding meeting(s) so you can quickly remind the B&G on the wedding day that there is an issue they need to address with a guest or two.

I find that when I discuss this issue ahead of time, the B&G have time to mention it to family prior to the services. Works like a charm most of the time.

When The Bride Invites "Friend" Photographer

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