need advice on over active children

VayCayMom

Yesterday I had a new client with a 6 yr old boy and a 2 yr old daughter. I finally had to separate them to get any decent shots. My studio is in my home and the 6 yr old was chasing my cat all over my house, in my bedroom, in my pantry, laundry room climbing up kitty condo and just would not be still long enough for me to refocus and shoot. I will be 60 this month, my body is old and slow LOL. I put him on the couch with mom and sister and he uses it as a slide. Finally I take the 3 of them outside. I have a bike horn with a rubber bulb that really gets attention. He saw me put it behind me and he kept jumping up and grabbing it from behind me. I took it away and placed him back in his spot twice! Meanwhile Mom deals with 2 yr old who wants to do what big brother is doing. He had a long sleeved knit shirt that looked sloppy so I pushed his sleeves up, put him in a semi poise in front of back drop, turned and walked 5 feet away and he was totally undone when I picked my camera back up.

Finally to save my sanity I told him I would do this all day long with him, he wanted to go home of course, until I was finished. To make my point I moved so slow to show him just how long I could draw this session out. I even told him he could stay and nap and watch the news with me and even the elections on Tuesday.. that is how long I could make this last if he did not stay still for a few moments !!!

Any suggestions would be wonderful.

I thought about moving outside but then he could travel even farther away from me and the camera. In the house I had to sit my husband on an ottoman to block off an escape route from the shooting area. Oh and to top it off he would squeeze his little sisters cheeks and face to make her smile. But he was as handsome as Antonio Banderas at least!!!

Dr Calohandre

Benedryl works wonders but you've got to get them shot before they fall asleep...it's kind of like using super glue on macroed bugs....okay, I'm just kidding. Reason #1 I got out of the commercial business of shooting kids - but that was over 40 years ago.

Zerodog

Why was the Mom letting this happen? This is just rude. Especially while you were trying to do your job and when expensive gear was involved. Why has it become so acceptable for kids to run wild everywhere? My buddy brought his 3 yr old to my house a couple weeks ago to print a few pictures. She chased my little dog until he was ready to bite her. She ran full speed all over the house randomly screaming, and worst ran around my office grabbing things. My office has all of my gear and all of my computers. I had to ask her to stop. She did for about 20 sec. Dad did nothing. To top it off she pooped in her pants...... I think in protest of me asking her to stop running. WTF???!!!! She is not invited back. I don't have kids so my house is no where near kid proof. I was so stressed out by the time they left. I think they just need to bring back the spankings! My friend can now go to a photo lab to do his printing. She can run around down there.

Dreadnote

I saw a video by an individual who was stated to be a very successful child photographer ( I'll try to find the reference - don't really photograph kids that young so I wasn't paying that much attention), anyway, for the really squirmy ones, and the really young ones who don't seem to be able to look at the lens when they are supposed to, he had fitted a stuffed animal with a whole in it around the lens barrel. He set the whole rig on a tripod with a remote release. He set depth of field and focus to match a bit of tape on the floor. He would position the kid, tell them to look at the stuffed animal (which I think was Kermit the Frog, not that it matters I'm sure) take 3/4 of a step back and fire off a couple - rinse and repeat. He kept it really light and entertaining for the kids with stories about the frog and sound effects and such.

Or if that doesnt work, go with Zerodog's suggestion. Beat them and while they are crying take the pics in front of a backdrop of a war torn country. It will give it some context.

Oh... and when you are done, you can come by and hand out a beating or ten to my niece and nephew whose parents and grandparents seem to think its ok to let them behave the way the little monsters you were tryng to photograph were behaving.

Sam

The only sure fire way is responsible parents, or failing that use a rubber hammer.

Sam

D3Sshooter

I recognize the situation, it happened once in my studio as well. There is only one solution, a serious talk with the parents.
If it has no result within a few minutes, show them the door. That is what I did. I am not gonna get upset for a few Dollars (euro's). That is the best advice I can give you. In my studio there is one rule " My way or the highway".

sweet caroline

We'll assume the mom was trying but had her hands full. I actually find that getting kids outside often does help, even with ADHD kiddos. I'm a teacher, too, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve when it comes to dealing with kids. I usually break my session up into "turns." The kids take a few photos that are my idea, then get a break to play, then we do the kids' idea, then my idea, etc. Sometimes keeping things calm and extremely low pressure works better than creating a lot of excitement in hopes of keeping a child's attention. Remember that a photo session can be very overstimulating. Also, I am actually often more successful when the parents move away a bit. Sometimes, it's just going to be a tough session no matter what you do.

You could draft an "info for parents" document that outlines some ground rules and how to set expectations for the children.

-Caroline

RyanS

I am a father of seven. We have over 40 young children on our street (under 13), over 200 in our suburban neighborhood. I quite enjoy being around and working with children. I certainly love my own a great deal.

My tips for rowdy kids:
* Turn on the TV. These are powerful brainwashing devices proven to sedate even grown adults.
* Many modern parents are afraid to discipline in mixed company. Prompt them to indicate it is okay.
* The first 30 seconds are critical. You're either an authority, an authoritarian, or a clown. You want to be the authority figure. Avoid the other two at all costs.
* Simple games are a good way to provide structure to complex events.

If all else fails, reschedule. Always inform parents this is a risk. I am not a particularly good photographer. Yet certain families keep coming back to me. I'm the only guy that can get their kids to sit and smile. In my opinion I can do this because I genuinely enjoy children. The way you interact with your young clients is incredibly important if you want to be in business as a family photographer. If any of you out there don't want those types of clients, that's cool. I've got openings.

Hackbone

Agree with D3. Have a discussion with the mom and child.......set boundaries possibly with a reward but it won't last long so work fast. Finally set a reshoot with mom knowing why and charge a reduced sitting fee so mom takes it seriously and has a talk with the child prior to the second session.

bmoreshooter

Give the little guy something to do. Ask him if he would like to be your assistant. Let him hold a reflector or gobo that has no effect on the photo but he'll think he's doing something important. This will help to gain his trust in you and he'll be more cooperative when it's his turn.

nak

Not all kids are the same, and ADHD is not bad parenting by another name. I'm presuming that the mother was highly embarrassed here. If she didn't care, show them the door. If she was struggling to deal with distractible kids in a highly interesting and novel place, perhaps we cut her some slack.

The trick here is advance prep. If you've got 3 positive things that you can offer the kid to do any time you interact with them, you'll own them. If all you have are negatives, you've lost before you begin. There are people who can come up with three things in the time it takes them to inhale; they get labeled "great with kids." The rest of us plan ahead or suffer.

If it's easier and more fun for a kid to "behave" than to "make their own fun with whatever is at hand" they will pick the former and bask in the glow of the positive attention it gets them. Implication there is that they get positive attention when they do the "right" things.

Can you make your studio a more kid friendly space? A little or a lot, all such efforts pay off. Can you come up with kid friendly activities? Again, the advance planning pays off.

For example, you give the kid a sock puppet and have them hold a conversation between their sock puppet and a similar critter mounted on your camera. They look your way to hear the replies, causing them to be looking at the camera. They are engaged. If your critter says something funny, they are smiling. It's sort of like helping you play with your toys, even if they don't actually get to play with all of your toys. They get positive attention, always a good thing.

You might look at your studio and conclude that it is already maximally kid friendly. You might look at your workflow and decide that kid activities would prevent taking proper photographs of the kids. At this point, perhaps the parents need to bring a baby sitter - or two - along to help mind the kids.

Something as simple as scheduling can make all the difference in the world. Ask the parent if there are times of day when the kids have an easier time sitting down. For some kids this absolutely is the case.

So talk to the parents and ask them about their kids. Telling them about the preparations on your end makes it far easier to place a few demands on them. Reasonable parents will be grateful that you are making the efforts and you get to keep your sanity without turning down clients. (Unreasonable parents you don't need as clients.)

jasonscottphoto

he had fitted a stuffed animal with a whole in it around the lens barrel.

We have one of these that looks like Elmo. It helps a lot with 3 and under kids!

Got it here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/HappyAcresFarm

VayCayMom

Wow, I am loving the feedback. Sam you rock lol. Here is a little more info... I did write to her before hand my belief that children can feel very restricted during a shoot and how I tend to shoot them as they are rather than force them into a pose with a CHEEZE grimmace frozen on their face. I have had parents scold their children for being "silly" after I encouraged a sullen or glum kid to liven up with my own silliness I guess I get more kids that want to cling to mom's leg. Perhaps I over did my "pep" talk. lol
And then this poor mom ( 7 or 8 months pregnant) was not really in charge of her kids, and my husband's brain disease makes him unable to stop chatting so he had her cornered . She was most kind and so patient to him. He didn't let her even come up for air even when I scolded him 3 times!!! If she moved, he followed. sigh.


Here is what I did do... yes I too have a NEMO on my camera lens. I had a trunk full of hats, mickey mouse gloves, stuffed animals AND a big beanbag that held his attention when he used it as a slide. But what he really wanted was my cat, the living one lol. I ALWAYS give kids choices and involve them in the process. Do you want to go first or should your baby sister go first? Mom did not bring snacks but my husband was happy to bring out crackers. Suddenly my PANTRY was fair game. I knew I had lost all control as the mom was writing a check and big brother opened the pantry and little sister found a box of raisins and happily munched away. Mom was right there within 3 feet. I asked her if it was OK because who knows if she might be allergic to golden raisins?!!

I pride myself on winning the trust of the shy ones, that part was a BIG success. I sent an email to mom the same day asking if she realized she had over paid me. A check covered the entire session plus she gave me $50.00 cash. She told me it was a TIP!!! And how glad she was to have found me and that she and her husband told their little boy they were disappointed that he complained to me that he was bored and wanted to go home.

What did I learn in this session, I always try to think of ways to overcome issues I am unhappy with. Next time I will lock up the cat. I will block off the circular floor plan so they can't run circles through studio, kitchen, breakfast area and hallway. I will LOCK my bedroom door. AND set up some rules about running through the studio. The area for formal dining and formal sitting room beginning at my front door is where I shoot. I also will set up a few rules when they arrive to mom in front of the kids. She tried to slow him down but it wasn't effective. There are a few more ideas posted here that are awesome. I LOVE what each of you said. You all have been most helpful and theraputic !!! And this season my business has multiplied even with a price increase. We need the money I make, I am really blessed to have enough clients to complain about!
Thanks for letting me vent.