Where do you draw the line between being the photographer and the wedding planner?

nicoleshilliday

How much as a photographer do you help keep things on track when there is no wedding planner?

My last wedding was a complete disaster when it came to the timeline. She had a timeline, but for some reason was 1.5 hours late for her ceremony. Yes, some had to do with traffic, but most of it was because she didn't have her crap together and was making place cards/table numbers/ect the morning of her wedding. Ceremony was at 1pm and she was still getting her hair and makeup done at 12:45. I had to suggest that the makeup artist do her makeup the same time as the stylist was doing her hair. I told bridesmaids countless times to get dressed, but everyone seemed to have their own agenda.

Should i be more of a bitch and get people moving or should i not be expected to announce the time every 2 mins to 15 girls that really didn't care what i had to say? :dunno

On the flip side, I have been to weddings when they did have a wedding planner and things still fell behind.

Thoughts?

heatherfeather

We really can only do what we can do...

That being said, I work out their day for them months ahead of time... including breakfast... hair and makeup times... etc... and publish schedules and pass them out constantly through the day. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it really just doesn't, but that totally depends on the bride.
And wedding planners are help only if they are the right person, AND the bride is on the same page with the "stick to the schedule" mindset. As far as keeping on track with the photos we have scheduled, I try. Doesn't always work out, but I do try.

Blurmore

I've encountered these situations more than a couple of times. Last time I was a second, working for the wife of a husband and wife team. As much as the primary tried to cajole, push, and generally badger the bride into getting her shit together, she was still VERY, VERY late. Late enough that one whole portion of taking photos in an urban, downtown, area needed to be cut from the day. The bride actually had her dress ON, and announced that she forgot her spanx and had to redo. As a male secondary on this job, I was with the groom (who was also late, and a mess) or in the hall until last minute of her getting ready. At dinner, the primary and I had a talk about how the pre-bridal went down, and how I would have handled it. I told her that in situations like that, her husband and I were very much the same. We would quickly realize they were without direction, or determination, and kind of start giving orders, or at LEAST get the people who were feeding the emotional frenzy AWAY and the people who were about getting the bride done close to her. The primary asked what we would do if that didn't work, I didn't have an answer, because it had never not worked. In my experience, a certain type of bride (a type of late bride), bridal party, and mother situation, will IMMEDIATELY turn around and get on the ball if given direction by a man. Trying to answer her as best I could, I said I didn't really know how I'd handle it if they didn't take direction, but it probably would have ended up with them knowing I was pissed off at them for wasting my time. So it is a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of thing. Sacrifice your time, to save face day of, and possibly be light on pictures, or risk being an asshole, by being assertive, and getting stuff moving. The poor primary on this job was the subject of both crying AND shouting (within like 2 minutes of each other) when she attempted to take charge.

Matthew Saville

There are always a few suggestions you can make, both during your consultation and on the wedding day, but yeah at a certain point you just gotta roll with the day- shut up and take pictures of whatever is happening!

Encourage then to come up with a schedule, but also to delegate stuff to other people so that they can be free to get ready and take portraits. I specifically mention things like "I know this can be tough if you're planning the wedding yourself, and doing a lot of DIY details and stuff. It is important that you reduce your responsibilities on the wedding day, so that there aren't a dozen people asking you where to put things, or what happened to that other thing, etc. etc. If you don't have a wedding planner, delegate stuff politely to others. Because otherwise YOU will wind up doing everything, and that's what I'll get pictures of, instead of the good portraits that we want to take."

Having said that, it is important to still find things to take pictures of. If your bride is running late and you just stand around waiting, that is going to come back to bite you in the ass. It is exrremely important to find things to take pictures of, to find ways to fill your time and if possible accomplish as much as you can now, so that you can use whatever remaining time later for the important shots. This definitely requires a much more photojournalistic approach to the entire day, which I highly recommend being able to do at a moments' notice.

At the end of the day though, sometimes you just can't win. Push them to stay on schedule until it feels really awkward, and then push them a little more, and then just lay off and take pictures. You can't win 'em all!

=Matt=

joshhuntnm

from my viewpoint, they are paying for my time and the meter is running. if they want me to sit on my hands because of their poor planning, so be it.

Matthew Saville

joshhuntnm wrote: »

from my viewpoint, they are paying for my time and the meter is running. if they want me to sit on my hands because of their poor planning, so be it.

Yes, Josh, but my point is, why WOULD you just sit on your thumbs? There's always something happening on a wedding day that you can photograph. I've had a handful of weddings that ran VERY late, but I've never really had to "put down my camera" for more than a couple minutes, I'm always shooting something... As you say, they are paying for my time and the meter is running, ...so I'd better be taking pictures of SOMETHING!

=Matt=

nicoleshilliday

Matthew Saville wrote: »

There are always a few suggestions you can make, both during your consultation and on the wedding day, but yeah at a certain point you just gotta roll with the day- shut up and take pictures of whatever is happening!

Encourage then to come up with a schedule, but also to delegate stuff to other people so that they can be free to get ready and take portraits. I specifically mention things like "I know this can be tough if you're planning the wedding yourself, and doing a lot of DIY details and stuff. It is important that you reduce your responsibilities on the wedding day, so that there aren't a dozen people asking you where to put things, or what happened to that other thing, etc. etc. If you don't have a wedding planner, delegate stuff politely to others. Because otherwise YOU will wind up doing everything, and that's what I'll get pictures of, instead of the good portraits that we want to take."

Having said that, it is important to still find things to take pictures of. If your bride is running late and you just stand around waiting, that is going to come back to bite you in the ass. It is exrremely important to find things to take pictures of, to find ways to fill your time and if possible accomplish as much as you can now, so that you can use whatever remaining time later for the important shots. This definitely requires a much more photojournalistic approach to the entire day, which I highly recommend being able to do at a moments' notice.

At the end of the day though, sometimes you just can't win. Push them to stay on schedule until it feels really awkward, and then push them a little more, and then just lay off and take pictures. You can't win 'em all!

=Matt=

I think this is exactly true. I have a schedule and i try to keep them on it, but you can't win them all! I did find myself taking more detail shots then i normally do of the dress, shoes, rings ect. I know i have enough shots that she will not be upset with what i have captured. I was really lucky to have convinced her i needed two hours and a half hours to get around to the different locations after the ceremony to get what i needed. She ended up missing the cocktail hour but wasn't upset by that at all.

I think they were a little upset with me that i wouldn't take photos on the church steps while the wedding scheduled after them was starting. But, you have to draw the line somewhere. I personally wasn't willing to interrupt another wedding because my bride was late.

nicoleshilliday

heatherfeather wrote: »

We really can only do what we can do...

That being said, I work out their day for them months ahead of time... including breakfast... hair and makeup times... etc... and publish schedules and pass them out constantly through the day. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it really just doesn't, but that totally depends on the bride.
And wedding planners are help only if they are the right person, AND the bride is on the same page with the "stick to the schedule" mindset. As far as keeping on track with the photos we have scheduled, I try. Doesn't always work out, but I do try.

you really pass out schedules!?!?! you are amazing.