Devoted to Greaper
Nikolai
Registered Users Posts: 19,035 Major grins
And his cute avatar!:D
My youngest wrote this piece for school (it's her last year in middle school) a week ago or so.
I liked it very much and hope you don't mind me sharing it with you. It's kinda long, but I was naturally thrilled by the plot and the grammatical tools used.
To avoid unnecessary loads, I put it as a response to this post.
Enjoy!:lust
My youngest wrote this piece for school (it's her last year in middle school) a week ago or so.
I liked it very much and hope you don't mind me sharing it with you. It's kinda long, but I was naturally thrilled by the plot and the grammatical tools used.
To avoid unnecessary loads, I put it as a response to this post.
Enjoy!:lust
"May the f/stop be with you!"
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His breath proceeded in short gasps trying to fill in the last caverns of his inflamed lungs before he was destined to breathe out as Costes witnessed a creature unlike what his seven year old eyes have ever made distinctable. As time passed, the paleness deserted his still stone face as he slipped back from a trance of anxiety and began to run. The speed of the boy was just about in synchronicity to his thoughts racing in his mind to make sense of as to what occurrence just took place. Destined for an answer, his feet enticed quick efficient turns to eventually lead him into the tent of my own presence out of the thousands that surrounded it in the beautiful Argentina. I, Adelais Frecos, the village Shaman, patiently listened to what the boy explained under his out-of-breath persistency. The boy's eyes we bulged out to the point where I could see the miniscule veins straining in the force that the eye was exerting. He repeatedly questioned as to why the creature has different colored stripes on his tail in addition to the one covering his eyes. Gathering my thoughts, I searched deep into my mind for an explanation to satisfy the fierce curiosity of Costes, and so I began.
In a land forgotten in its destruction many millenniums ago, before man ruled this earth, creatures like the animals we see today, lead lives very similar to those of ours. Possessing the ability of speech and communication, they to my knowledge, they were quite advanced for their time, for some even believe that their way of life is what most of our population should strive for. In that spirit, those animals supported, cared for and loved each other as any human would do.
Once upon a time the animal, First Raccoon, that Costes mentioned, was at the time a rare black fox that upon awakening by his friends one morning was told that it was his birthday. First Raccoon blissfully rose and since it was a celebration, his fellow animals took medieval forms of ribbons and tied them upon his tail to dress him up in a way noticeable to others on his special day. To further delight him, they had discovered the clearest water-hole ever seen by any other them before, and they wanted it to be his birthday surprise. Since no one wanted First Raccoon to peek at his present before they had fully arrived, the animals blindfolded him and began leading him to the oasis.
All of a sudden, the climate of a hazy blue sky turned charcoal grey as the air became heavy with soot to a point making one not want to inhale such a substance. Practically every being stopped in their tracks, and strained their necks to glimpse up above at the preposterous phenomenon. First Raccoon, not only being blindfolded but deaf from that ribbon covering his eyes and ears, was still happily bouncing around on his big day sensing nothing out of the ordinary. The rest of the animals however, knew, as would have First Raccoon, that this was the stain of the evil witch, Aziza, marking her return. Deserting First Raccoon in their selfish attempt to save their own hides, they fled without so much as even nudging the poor animal as he was still spinning around in joy.
The witch, Aziza, ecstatic with her dictatorial influx overlooking that vast jungles as the last of the animals fled, released an inevitable gaseous chemical turning everything breathing in its path grey like what appears to be the dominating color of her heart in spite of those too slow to evacuate. She let out an evil cackle echoing continually throughout the once joyful land. Strutting around in a high-fashioned matter, she languorously observed what she has taken captive amidst her stay with eyes reflecting pools of purple hidden underneath non- symmetrical eyelashes no shorter than claws on an eagle. From myths, she is told to be a deceptive and demonic aging woman concealed underneath her robes of black and royal purple silk, swaying from the howling winds destined to follow her to the end of her pitiful existence.
Her eyes opened wide with disgust upon seeing First Raccoon not cowering, scurrying or anything of that sort in her intimidating presence. Feeling the tension, his everlasting smile faded like the last golden rays of the sun, and the urge to escape tingled in his nerves. Aziza, insulted and irritated, viciously ripped off his bows and blindfold covering what was left of his black coat now over covered by the permanent grey. She spit out a laugh hoarse enough to shatter glass at the stripes of black that First Raccoon now possessed on his tail and head. To her bullying, First Raccoon let out a cry of resistance, but to many's surprise, Aziza was not snickering at his appearance but of how she will punish him for not fleeing the jungle.
Maliciously, she chanted a spell with her arms stretched out towards the heavens above while her eyes continuously rolled into the back of her head until only milky whites remained, as she still managed to show her expression of shameless pleasure. As First Raccoon watched timorously as the shadowed figure continued to unfold her dark magic in great intensity, the skies rolled with intonations of thunder. While wincing his eyes in dismay and preparation for the denouement of her incantation, he tried to utter a cry of despair, but his voice no longer existed, nor did his black coat now permanently stained by the vengeance of Aziza.
Sitting tense in his chair, Costes was trying to somehow take everything in. This morning's encounter no longer seemed to frighten him from my point of view, for he, even in reality , felt pity for the soul in a way he never even imagined was possible. From then on, he prayed to somehow run into the creature again so this time, without abhorrence, he could examine for himself the terrible mark that Aziza forever instilled. A mark leaving all raccoons blindfolded for eternity.
I hope she manages to keep that wonderful imagination alive as she grows older.
Thanks for sharing it with me.
Brian
She scares me sometimes with such things:-)
Thanks for reading!
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