The Baby Photographer
Andy
Registered Users Posts: 50,016 Major grins
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now.
The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had
hoped. Please come in and have a seat "
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results."
My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and
out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her
mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.
People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um...
equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to
work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too heavy to be held in the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.
:lol3
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now.
The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had
hoped. Please come in and have a seat "
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results."
My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and
out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her
mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.
People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um...
equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to
work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too heavy to be held in the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.
:lol3
0
Comments
And now we know why Canon lovers are so fond of their equipment . . .
trying to compensate???
Wonderful joke - made my day - real laughs - I think my wife is wondering what I'm doing alone in my office, chuckling.
I knew, of course, that trees and plants had roots, stems, bark, branches and foliage that reached up toward the light. But I was coming to realize that the real magician was light itself.
Edward Steichen
Hmmm, Well if you really want to read into it.... Seems that guy who couldn't handle his equipment has the same name as one of our favorite nikon shooters....
Hmmm, That could explain why you guys are always so deffensive.:D
www.zxstudios.com
http://creativedragonstudios.smugmug.com
Mr. Smith . .?????
:duel
I knew, of course, that trees and plants had roots, stems, bark, branches and foliage that reached up toward the light. But I was coming to realize that the real magician was light itself.
Edward Steichen
and I quote from the original peice.
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
www.zxstudios.com
http://creativedragonstudios.smugmug.com
www.edhughesphoto.com
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life...Picasso