Do you like this design

ExposeTheMomentExposeTheMoment Registered Users Posts: 271 Major grins
edited October 11, 2006 in The Big Picture
101160442-M.jpg

I paid for a designed card, and this is alomst ready for print, but I wonder what you guys and girls think.
Gary Harfield
Owner/Photographer
Expose The Moment

Had a list of gear, now its to long, so lets say I have 2 bags and 15,000 worth of stuff.

Comments

  • AndyAndy Registered Users Posts: 50,016 Major grins
    edited October 9, 2006
    Well Gary, you know me, I don't hold back. I don't like it, here's why:

    * it looks dark and underexposed - the image does not grab me.
    * your logo is hard to read (the script) it should be instantly readable
    * the phone numbers and data are very busy
    * the servicing New England: doesn't work for me
    * the beveled edge on the image is, well, I don't like it
    * there are too many competing elements, no flow to the design

    I'd try for something simpler. But that's just me!


    Lots of GREAT advice in this thread, you could make your own and do Much Better, I'm sure. It's a long thread, but there are some absolute gems in there.
    http://www.dgrin.com/showthread.php?t=10223&highlight=business+card

    Good luck!
    Andy

    Portfolio • Workshops • Facebook • Twitter
  • JeffroJeffro Registered Users Posts: 1,941 Major grins
    edited October 9, 2006
    I didn't like it at first glance either. Too many words. The script at the top blends in with the photo too much. I think you are too wordy...Seriving New England...what's the point? Are you afraid your card is going to get handed out on the west coast? The picture doesn't grab me either. I think you need one with the subjects looking at the camera, that way their eyes can help grab the viewer. It should be one of your best shots...simple elegance.

    Again, just my opinion.
    Always lurking, sometimes participating. :D
  • saurorasaurora Registered Users Posts: 4,320 Major grins
    edited October 9, 2006
    The word "Expose" gets entirely buried within the image. I have to 'study' it before I can determine what it says. On a small card, I'm sure it would be even more difficult to read. Entirely too much information for a little card. Too many phone numbers. I'm sure some info (fax # for one) could be obtained off your website. I would try to de-clutter as much as possible and simplify. The less stated the better in my opinion.
  • DeeDee Registered Users Posts: 2,981 Major grins
    edited October 10, 2006
    I have to agree with everyone else
    The card is way too busy, the serif reverse type is difficult to read (phone numbers) the reverse, outline script of your business name is difficult to read. The photo bleeding off the left side looks awkward. The card looks very old and dated.

    Toll sounds like it costs money to make the phone call, Toll free is much better. I realize the designer was trying to get the abbreviations to line up...

    The black with the photo just looks very heavy and dreary to me. I went to your website and think the colors you used there are better suited to the wedding photos you are showcasing.

    Did you consider 2-sided printing if you feel it necessary to include so much information?

    I can understand the use of such a fancy script for the name of your company (being that weddings and portraits featured) but I wouldn't advise using such a fancy script for your name.

    I take it "servicing New England" means you are trying to say you will travel?

    And last of all ... aren't you sorry you asked? :D
    http://www.deegolden.smugmug.com
    http://www.twitter.com/deegolden
  • bhambham Registered Users Posts: 1,303 Major grins
    edited October 10, 2006
    Ditto what has been said. One idea, like a good number of poeple have done with their business cards, picture on one side, BASIC info on other. See the show me your business card thread (under mind your business) for ideas, creatiques, etc.
    "A photo is like a hamburger. You can get one from McDonalds for $1, one from Chili's for $5, or one from Ruth's Chris for $15. You usually get what you pay for, but don't expect a Ruth's Chris burger at a McDonalds price, if you want that, go cook it yourself." - me
  • ExposeTheMomentExposeTheMoment Registered Users Posts: 271 Major grins
    edited October 10, 2006
    I'm working with the designer to streem line the card. I will post it, when it arrives
    Gary Harfield
    Owner/Photographer
    Expose The Moment

    Had a list of gear, now its to long, so lets say I have 2 bags and 15,000 worth of stuff.
  • MongrelMongrel Registered Users Posts: 622 Major grins
    edited October 11, 2006
    Well, not that you need it at this point...
    Hi Gary,

    I'd have to agree with everything that's been said above-too busy and difficult to read. So it seems pretty unaminous, which is a good thing actually because it gives you solid feedback on what to put your energy into. If the opinions were all over the place it would be more difficult.

    One other 'quibble'...

    While the word "portraitures" may indeed be a word, it doesn't seem like is. You may consider going with the more familiar "portraiture" or even "portraits".

    take care and good luck,

    Mongrel
    If every keystroke was a shutter press I'd be a pro by now...
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