I think I agree - the shot could use a little more pop - or something to lend it a little more punch. The composition looks good to me, but I might have included a little more open space to the left other subjects - give them something into which to look.
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you definitely want to follow their gaze-
when people are looking at something, i tend to also use that cue for my "rule of thirds" ...i.e., i lead them in the direction they're looking.
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