Feedback request - advert postcard

Ann McRae

I am working on a postcard for our soccer organization to mail out to encourage kids to come out for tryouts. So far, I am here:


I have to try to hook up with an older boys team ASAP to get a photo for the left corner.
In general, how am I doing with layout? What about color selections and the photos?

I'd love some feedbck - I'm not terribly experienced at this.

ann

GraphyFotoz

Looks GREAT to me!!
I'd say you have a GREAT start!

Michiel de Brieder

Ann,

how about a soccer field faded into the back instead of the blue? I like the setup though

wxwax

Ann, nice ideas. Here's something I've held onto from a course I took by an advertising agency owner in SF.

Posters and print ads thrive on simplicity. Figure out the message/solicitation and the most effective creative for delivering it. Then keep the visual presentation simple. There should be a dominant thing that is the primary draw for the eye - could be a photo, could be a headline. Everything else is subervient to that one big thing. Ditto with words on the image - a primary message should be bigger, all else smaller. The fewer words the better, as folks don't like to read much.

Those are the basics, other than figuring out the most powerful selling message you can (needs to appeal to the reader's self interest.)

Hope this helps, I often think about it.

Ann McRae

Karz wrote:

I'd say you have a GREAT start!

Thanks, Karz.

Ann McRae

Michiel de Brieder wrote:

Ann,

how about a soccer field faded into the back instead of the blue? I like the setup though

Hi Michiel

That is a good idea. When I read it, I thought top view of a field. My dh thought side view of a stadium, showing a crowd.

What were you thinking? I'd need to find a clip art on line for that though, as I do not have one of my own.

ann

Ann McRae

wxwax wrote:

Ann, nice ideas. Here's something I've held onto from a course I took by an advertising agency owner in SF.

Posters and print ads thrive on simplicity. Figure out the message/solicitation and the most effective creative for delivering it. Then keep the visual presentation simple. There should be a dominant thing that is the primary draw for the eye - could be a photo, could be a headline. Everything else is subervient to that one big thing. Ditto with words on the image - a primary message should be bigger, all else smaller. The fewer words the better, as folks don't like to read much.

Those are the basics, other than figuring out the most powerful selling message you can (needs to appeal to the reader's self interest.)

Hope this helps, I often think about it.

Hi wxwax

This is very wise advice. I am being directed by a pair of committee members (that frequently change their minds). The primary thing they wanted was lots of colorful action pics - thinking that would be a good draw. They did not want any empty space - but maybe I should make something with just one photo and the catch phrase and see if they like that. They are trying to emphasize fun and good competition.

ann

Michiel de Brieder

Ann McRae wrote:

What were you thinking? I'd need to find a clip art on line for that though, as I do not have one of my own.

ann

go get yourself dirty girl!! I was thinking of a picture from the middle-point of the field (don't know the exact term in english) from the ground, so you'll be lying on your side (in the width of the field), or perhaps your belly (in the length of the field) and take a picture with the goal in the bokeh, so focus at the outer circle from the middle (am I making sense?) I think that'll give you a scene that is both relevant and easy on the eyes! You might also try focussing at the goal or the 16m outer bounds (that's what we call it in the Netherlands, the 16m area, that's the area around the goal that has a line around it)
Hope I was making sense, as I don't know your linguistics on soccer fields

yvonne

Ann McRae wrote:

I am working on a postcard for our soccer organization to mail out to encourage kids to come out for tryouts. So far, I am here:


I have to try to hook up with an older boys team ASAP to get a photo for the left corner.
In general, how am I doing with layout? What about color selections and the photos?

I'd love some feedbck - I'm not terribly experienced at this.

ann

The pictures are nice, I especially like the fact that there's a bit of a focus on girls too, not just boys. But you've got too many different types going on. You've got 3 different typefaces in 3 different colours. I think that might be a bit distracting. I would make it a little less busy. You don't really know where to look.

Just my 2c

Ann McRae

Michiel de Brieder wrote:

go get yourself dirty girl!! I was thinking of a picture from the middle-point of the field (don't know the exact term in english) from the ground, so you'll be lying on your side (in the width of the field), or perhaps your belly (in the length of the field) and take a picture with the goal in the bokeh, so focus at the outer circle from the middle (am I making sense?) I think that'll give you a scene that is both relevant and easy on the eyes! You might also try focussing at the goal or the 16m outer bounds (that's what we call it in the Netherlands, the 16m area, that's the area around the goal that has a line around it)
Hope I was making sense, as I don't know your linguistics on soccer fields

But Michiel - all outdoor fields are under 2 feet of snow! That won't be happening for several months!
I do understand your idea though, and will probably use it this spring!
16m area we call the 18 yard line or box. Anyone with a hockey background mistakenly calls it the goal crease, and I've heard a football person refer to it as the hash line..........


ann

wxwax

The penalty box. As in goooooooool!

Ann McRae

yvonne wrote:

The pictures are nice, I especially like the fact that there's a bit of a focus on girls too, not just boys. But you've got too many different types going on. You've got 3 different typefaces in 3 different colours. I think that might be a bit distracting. I would make it a little less busy. You don't really know where to look.

Just my 2c

Thanks Yvonne - I am trying to do something simpler (see next post)

ann

Ann McRae

Todays version:




Simpler.
I know I want to change the text color - but the message is right there, plain and simple. (Who & What anyway)

I like the blue background and the washed photos. I find the color striking and interesting.

One committee member does not like the dark background, but likes the simplicity of design.
One committtee member does not like the photos - and thinks the emphasis is too much on 'fun'. But then relents that that may be the right target.
One committee member just says 'I don't like it'.

Any pointers or feedback from you guys?

ann

GREAPER

Ann McRae wrote:

But Michiel - all outdoor fields are under 2 feet of snow! That won't be happening for several months!
I do understand your idea though, and will probably use it this spring!
16m area we call the 18 yard line or box. Anyone with a hockey background mistakenly calls it the goal crease, and I've heard a football person refer to it as the hash line..........


ann

This is just a thought (our feilds are under snow too) but would there be any problem with another dgrinner shooting a feild near them in a warm climate and letting you use them?

I think the blue background in the last version is a bit loud.

wxwax

Ann McRae wrote:

Any pointers or feedback from you guys?

ann

Just one, but it's very broad: a lot of things are the same size, both the pics and the fonts.

What is it you want me to see and read first? Whatever you answer, make those things dominate the poster, in my humble opinion.

Michiel de Brieder

For me it was Sting that dominated It really jumped at me, the rest was simply 'not there' at first glance

Michiel de Brieder

GREAPER wrote:

This is just a thought (our feilds are under snow too) but would there be any problem with another dgrinner shooting a feild near them in a warm climate and letting you use them?

I think the blue background in the last version is a bit loud.

I agree about the blue!
Ann, I might be able to get a shot on a soccer field this weekend, let me know if you're interested!!!

Ann McRae

Wednesday's version
I've tried to put together all of this great advise, along with the comments from the people that asked me to do this. This has led me to this point - 2 versions:





The purpose is to attract new players to this specific organization (SW Sting), with the idea that high level competition can be fun.

Am I there yet?
Well, not quite - I see I've misspelled Southwest. :uhoh :cry

ann

Ann McRae

Michiel de Brieder wrote:

I agree about the blue!
Ann, I might be able to get a shot on a soccer field this weekend, let me know if you're interested!!!

Hi, Thanks, Michiel

My deadline for this is supposed to be Friday. I love the idea of using a soccer field as backdrop - for team pics too. Do not go out of your way to get one, but if you can at some point, I would be very grateful.

Thanks,

ann