Ficticious Ad Campaign Help

p27rpy

I am creating these ads for a competition in my advertising class.
The Yellow Pages is sponsoring the contest, and we are supposed to create a large, medium and web-sized ads for a ficticious client called "Bella Dental"
These are what I've created so far. Just wanted some opinions from yall, so that i can make this the best ad possible.
I was trying to go for a luxurious look, since this dentist is supposed to be "spa-like" and relaxing. i thought the tiger in the background looked powerful and luxurious, like the business.
(i dont know if this is the right forum, but if its not, could a mod please move it to the correct one? thanks!)
I tried to stay away from multiple colors, as i figured it should be fairly simple, as a yellow page ad usually is.
I tried to maintain consistency throughout the whole thing, which is important.
The web ad is supposed to be very simple. just to get enough interest to click on it to take them to the website.
The one thing im having issues with is in the large ad where the phone number is. it seems like something is missing there, but im not sure what... just looks too plain. also, i dont really like the placement of the hours, but i cant think what else to do with them. what do yall think?
comments and constructive criticism encouraged!
thanks
theo
LARGE

MEDIUM

WEB

Dee

A few comments
Well, it looks like a yellow page ad :-)

Overall, at first glance these look fine. But if you are in a competition and want to win, then these are some nit-picky comments meant to help, not to make you feel bad, all right? :-)

Large Ad

I don't like the bullet placement. It's distracting to me. Also for consistency the last bullet before Low Interest should be centered on the L.

I'd close up the spaces between the area code, and phone numbers. It's a little too much. I can see wanting a little more space due to the font choice and for readability, but considering the 619 with the 9 descending so far below the baseline and to the left I'm not so sure this is the best font for a telephone number.

About the hours, yes, that is a problem. I might almost do Mon., Tues., Wed: and put more space around the hypen. I might put Mon, Thurs and Fri on one line, Saturday and add Closed Sundays on the second line.

-- Serving San Diego etc --
I'd look for one of those printer flourishes instead of the double hyphen, would be more true to the spirit of the Bella Dental type style.

Is there a reason the box on the right is smaller in height than the one on the left?

I can't really see the tiger image, but why a tiger? I don't find tigers relaxing.:D Maybe something that is more appropriate for the San Diego area? Ocean, Marina, landscape? A zen rock garden?

Check with yellow pages to see what lpi they are using. If it's not 133 some of the type may be difficult to read.

Over 64 years combined experience doesn't make sense to me since I don't know what experience that is referring to. Is there more than one dentist?

Address... you need Blvd to read like this -- Blvd., San

Will this be printed on white paper or yellow paper? That may impact the yellow you are using in the ad.

Middle ad:

Kern the quote and the T in treat yourself, like you did on the large ad.

Bullets on the left are further apart than the bullets and text on the right

I'd close up the space and make the black box smaller to give yourself more room for the address.

The bullets change position in the middle ad. Pick top, middle and stick to it for consistency. Also it may be optical, but the bullets don't look the same size.

The photo box does not have equal spacing top and bottom.

Web ad...

I don't think there's enough information to make me want to click on the web banner for more information.

All in all, it's not a bad start at all, but that 619 really bothers me

Good luck with the competition!

Mike Lane

Nothing says relaxing trip to the dentist like a tiger if you ask me.

p27rpy

Dee wrote:

Well, it looks like a yellow page ad :-)

Overall, at first glance these look fine. But if you are in a competition and want to win, then these are some nit-picky comments meant to help, not to make you feel bad, all right? :-)

Large Ad

I don't like the bullet placement. It's distracting to me. Also for consistency the last bullet before Low Interest should be centered on the L.

I'd close up the spaces between the area code, and phone numbers. It's a little too much. I can see wanting a little more space due to the font choice and for readability, but considering the 619 with the 9 descending so far below the baseline and to the left I'm not so sure this is the best font for a telephone number.

About the hours, yes, that is a problem. I might almost do Mon., Tues., Wed: and put more space around the hypen. I might put Mon, Thurs and Fri on one line, Saturday and add Closed Sundays on the second line.

-- Serving San Diego etc --
I'd look for one of those printer flourishes instead of the double hyphen, would be more true to the spirit of the Bella Dental type style.

Is there a reason the box on the right is smaller in height than the one on the left?

I can't really see the tiger image, but why a tiger? I don't find tigers relaxing.:D Maybe something that is more appropriate for the San Diego area? Ocean, Marina, landscape? A zen rock garden?

Check with yellow pages to see what lpi they are using. If it's not 133 some of the type may be difficult to read.

Over 64 years combined experience doesn't make sense to me since I don't know what experience that is referring to. Is there more than one dentist?

Address... you need Blvd to read like this -- Blvd., San

Will this be printed on white paper or yellow paper? That may impact the yellow you are using in the ad.

Middle ad:

Kern the quote and the T in treat yourself, like you did on the large ad.

Bullets on the left are further apart than the bullets and text on the right

I'd close up the space and make the black box smaller to give yourself more room for the address.

The bullets change position in the middle ad. Pick top, middle and stick to it for consistency. Also it may be optical, but the bullets don't look the same size.

The photo box does not have equal spacing top and bottom.

Web ad...

I don't think there's enough information to make me want to click on the web banner for more information.

All in all, it's not a bad start at all, but that 619 really bothers me

Good luck with the competition!

wow, great reply!

i agree with you on quite a bit of it, especially the quotes and "T" in "Treat Yourself" on the second ad. I've been working on these both on my computer at home and the school's computer, and for some reason, even though it's the same font, my computer will NOT italicize that part! driving me crazy...

i also agree with you on the web ad, but in the rules, they stressed the simplicity of the web ad, so im just not sure what else to do there.

i especially like your idea of the rock garden instead of the tiger. i though the tiger seemed like a cool fit, but since posting the ads in this and other forums, it has become apparent that most others dont agree, haha.

thanks for all the constructive criticism! don't worry, no feelings hurt here; this is how you get better!

thanks again

theo

RogersDA

A few things really caught my eye.

One bullet states "Low interest plans available" I would not want to go to a dentist that has low interest in me. Perhaps low interest rate financing plans would be a better phrase.

Another bullet states "New equipment finally makes your visit truly painless". That makes it sound as though every past visit to this dentist was a very painful experience. How about "Providing truly pain-free visits with our new equipment" or something like that?

I don't like the quote "Treat yourself". My guess is that most people view the dentist as anything but a treat.

Loose the background images. Those trees in the border are terrible for this ad.

cletus

Lots of good points given already.


Great fonts - nice and light and very elegant looking.

The text in the web banner sure seems crowded. Back off on the text size to give it a bit more room.

I'd ditch the bullets. You've got enough open space between the text items to separate them. The bullets just add clutter.

oh.... the tiger has to go

p27rpy

thanks for the great ideas guys! i used many of them...

i think they have a much more "luxurious" feel to them. i like them a lot! i will change some of the text tomorrow, tonight i was mainly focusing on the look of them.

heres what i have before i quit for the night. let me know what you think.

theo

Dee

Nice
Love the sailboats in the web banner.

It ads an element of "fun" to the dentist ad, never a fun thing to do for me.

p27rpy

Dee wrote:

Love the sailboats in the web banner.

It ads an element of "fun" to the dentist ad, never a fun thing to do for me.

yeah, me too! i think these new ads are head and shoulders above the others. thanks so much for yalls help, and feel free to keep the comments comin!

claudermilk

Second set is much, much better. That background image nails the feel for S.D. far better than the tiger--it does say S.D. to me (I go down there all the time).


I still see some of the things Dee mentioned. The mismatched box sizes in the first ad, the lack of punctuation for Blvd (it really should be "Blvd.,"), the speard out phone number in the first one. Nitpicky things, but they do draw attention.

One last nitpick: on the first one, is there any way to shift the background image left & up? It should help readability, with the sun right under the "Serving" tag line, and the phone number getting hit by the wave. It's little detail stuff like that which kills you--drove me up the wall years ago working in a print shop doing this kind of thing.

p27rpy

claudermilk wrote:

Second set is much, much better. That background image nails the feel for S.D. far better than the tiger--it does say S.D. to me (I go down there all the time).


I still see some of the things Dee mentioned. The mismatched box sizes in the first ad, the lack of punctuation for Blvd (it really should be "Blvd.,"), the speard out phone number in the first one. Nitpicky things, but they do draw attention.

One last nitpick: on the first one, is there any way to shift the background image left & up? It should help readability, with the sun right under the "Serving" tag line, and the phone number getting hit by the wave. It's little detail stuff like that which kills you--drove me up the wall years ago working in a print shop doing this kind of thing.

yeah, im going to start working on the text today, i was just tryin to get the image right last night, so ill take all those into consideration. ill see what i can do about moving the sun and waves a bit over.

glad yall like the new ones!
theo

wxwax

Just a quick observation.

I pick a dentist who has the most modern equipment, the latest techonology, because I tend to think they promise the most pain-free experience.

The soothing background in your second pass fits one of my needs. The swoopy fonts don't. FWIW, the slogan doesn't either.

DavidTO

The last thing I want to have to look at when I'm dialing the phone is a fancy font like that. The number is the most important piece of the message. In fact, you've got too many fonts and too many different looks going on in the ad, IMO.

Also, what kind of awards does a dentist win? Sounds fishy to me. Like he's trying too hard.

p27rpy

DavidTO wrote:

The last thing I want to have to look at when I'm dialing the phone is a fancy font like that. The number is the most important piece of the message. In fact, you've got too many fonts and too many different looks going on in the ad, IMO.

Also, what kind of awards does a dentist win? Sounds fishy to me. Like he's trying too hard.

Actually, i'm only using 2 different fonts; Bella Dental and the phone # are Snell-Roundhand, all the others are Adobe Garamond (either italic or not)

i agree with you on that one, but all i have to go on is the packet of info about the dentist that was given to me.

would this be better?

"All our dentists are Board Certified, and members of the American Dental Association and the San Diego Dental Society."

i want something that makes the viewer confident in the dentist's experience. i think the sentence above, espeially the part of the San Diego Dental Society, makes them seem very legit.

heres the link to the info i have about Bella Dental if yall feel like paroozing it...

http://www.ypa-academics.org/cc/case.pdf

thanks again!

theo