Jeff Foxworthy on being Albertan
Ann McRae
Registered Users Posts: 4,584 Major grins
He's not, but he kind of has us pegged!:
[FONT="]<o:p></o:p>[/FONT] Here's what Jeff Foxworthy (American comedian) has to say about Albertans:
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of <st1:city w:st="on">Edmonton</st1:city> for the weekend, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you measure distance in hours, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you have switched from "heat" to "air conditioning" and back again in the same day, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state>
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you find 10 degrees Fahrenheit "a little chilly", you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your <st1:state w:st="on">Alberta</st1:state> friends, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
[FONT="]<o:p></o:p>[/FONT] Here's what Jeff Foxworthy (American comedian) has to say about Albertans:
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of <st1:city w:st="on">Edmonton</st1:city> for the weekend, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you measure distance in hours, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you have switched from "heat" to "air conditioning" and back again in the same day, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state>
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you find 10 degrees Fahrenheit "a little chilly", you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your <st1:state w:st="on">Alberta</st1:state> friends, you live in <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alberta</st1:place></st1:state> .
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Comments
I don't live in Alberta but I got a good chuckle out of reading that. Thanks for sharing!
Lee
Hmmmmmm but then again the lack of an accent is always a dead give away
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Skippy (Australia) - Moderator of "HOLY MACRO" and "OTHER COOL SHOTS"
ALBUM http://ozzieskip.smugmug.com/
:skippy Everyone has the right to be stupid, but some people just abuse the privilege :dgrin
Just say eh! a lot.:D
Ya know eh. It's not hard to talk like a Canadian eh.
Basking in the shadows of yesterday's triumphs'.