How to neutralize the overprotective parent?
My job allows me to travel to events on a regular basis, and I really enjoy candid shots of people. I find young people, children in particular, are really entertaining and easy to shoot. It is unfortunate the children's parents don't always appreciate me taking photos of their kids, sometimes giving me dirty looks and occasionally demanding to know who I am or declaring me a stalker/crazy person. I try to look cheerful, but apparently my big smile and young appearance is a dead givaway that I'm a child molester? I don't get it.
I've tried a few things like dressing well for a casual environment, carrying my media credential, carrying business cards, and using a longer lens so I don't have to be so obvious. But there is still some kind of stigma that if I take pictures of kids, I must be up to no good.
My next step is to approach the parents first and ask if it's ok, but I'm a really shy guy and don't have anything good to say. "Um, hi. I want to take pictures of your kid for fun" ... just doesn't sound right. Adding something about selling prints or offering to see the photos doesn't convey the right message either. This is my hobby. I'm just trying to have some fun, not solicit sales to random parents. Anyone else encounter this? How have you dealt with overprotective parents? (or how to counter the false pretense that you're up to no good?)
Zazzi
I've tried a few things like dressing well for a casual environment, carrying my media credential, carrying business cards, and using a longer lens so I don't have to be so obvious. But there is still some kind of stigma that if I take pictures of kids, I must be up to no good.
My next step is to approach the parents first and ask if it's ok, but I'm a really shy guy and don't have anything good to say. "Um, hi. I want to take pictures of your kid for fun" ... just doesn't sound right. Adding something about selling prints or offering to see the photos doesn't convey the right message either. This is my hobby. I'm just trying to have some fun, not solicit sales to random parents. Anyone else encounter this? How have you dealt with overprotective parents? (or how to counter the false pretense that you're up to no good?)
Zazzi
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Chloroform.
http://bertold.zenfolio.com
Only another parent knows how the hair the back of your neck will rise if a stranger starts to interact with your own children...its in our primodial coding to protect them. The internet is a scary place as you know from any news service around the world..it contains many people that photograph children in public areas & put the photos on particular sites. Imagine for one minuite you are a parent & you see a stranger wanting to photograph your child...how would you react ? You cannot blame any parent for this.
So...be up front,polite & ASK. No other way to go about it in my book.
permission. It's a pretty good rule to follow for adults too.
I think folks you approached might be a bit uncomfortable even if you present
a business card and ask permission. At least that's my take on it.
Ironically, your response is hilarious, for its utter predictability, if nothing else.
http://bertold.zenfolio.com
Zazzi, I am a huge introvert and have just discovered the brilliance of candid portraits. Especially candids of children. I was lucky in that my first discovery of this was at a small festival to which I had been invited by one of the organizers. She knew most of the families, so I snapped away blithely and never had a wrong word or angry look from a parent, though I expected one at any moment. The fact that this was a public celebration and I was one among many with a big camera also made this pretty much a non-issue.
Once I grew intoxicated with the idea of street candids after processing some of those shots, however, my next foray was more difficult. After shooting a nearby landscape, I had hopped in my car to drive to another place when I drove right by a grandmother chasing after her grandson in a park near a garden. I made an immediate U-turn, parked, then sat in my car for a minute wondering how to approach them and not seem like a crazy stalker.
I eventually walked up with my camera displayed prominently around my neck. The grandmother was obviously very leery of me at first, so I didn't even approach the fact that I wanted to take a picture at that point. I talked with her a bit, and she eventually invited me to join her on the bench. While we talked, I took pictures of the surrounding area casually. She learned about me, I learned about her. When she picked up her grandson and hugged him in her lap, I finally said, "Okay, you two are just too adorable together. Do you mind if I take your picture?"
She agreed. I shot two frames. Then I continued to talk with her a bit longer. I thought it would look really weird if I just got up and left after taking their photo, as it would have made my ulterior motive blatantly obvious and probably killed the trust I'd built with her.
Granted, not everyone will have this kind of time to devote to getting a shot of a kid. But building trust with the parent is key.
Good luck!
then, thank them, go about your business for a bit, then come back and get the real shots that you really wanted after they think you've left
http://bertold.zenfolio.com
FWIW I'm your garden variety harmless mom lookin' lady with anywhere from 1 to 5 kids of my own in tow, and I also get those suspicious looks and questioning glares if my camera points to the general direction of someone else's kids
It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with being a parent. Given a side to err on, most parents will chose to overprotect than to deal with the repurcussions of having underprotected. I respect that. I also think attitude resonates with people, and people can sense that I'm going to respect their boundaries. It makes it easier for me to introduce myself and offer up my motives for their permission
I think having a business card is good; even better if it features a picture of a kid or also offers your motives "Candid Portraits" or "Child Photographer" ... a cheap Vista type just to pass out to bypass the first psychological barrier a parent may have. If you frequent the same places, you'll likely see the same faces. Hand out your card and let them know you may be back to that spot, and that you just want to sit in the background and not interact or interfere with the kids at all. If they've met you before, visited your website and SEE that you are well intentioned, I'm sure most will be comfortable having you photograph their child candidly another time. If a photographer can respect my protectiveness (rather than come across as judging me overprotective) I tend to get a good deal more comfortable, if you see what I mean.
Maybe it depends on where you go for your candid shots, too. I know that busier areas (city sports parks, amusement parks) seem easier to tackle than do smaller playgrounds or whatnot.
Why not offer them the photos that you're taking? Give them a card, say "I'd love to shoot some photos of your child as I'm trying to learn more about photography and here is how you can contact me to get the photos I've taken!"
Honestly, I wouldn't be happy with someone just shooting a bunch of photos of my girls without my permission. I find it rude - and I, a LOVER of taking photos of kids, will not do that or keep them if I do without parental permission.
It's only nice. You may be quiet and shy, but it can be quite rude and intimidating to have some stranger taking photos of your precious child.
But if someone asks and offers for me to see the photos? I have no problem usually!
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I just tell them I'm with the school paper. And usually they're really respectful and appreciative.
And the few times where they act weird or rude, I just smile and say thank you, and walk away without taking any pictures. But I guess I'm fortunate that most people in this town know the school paper.
About the "shy guy" thing, I'm pretty gregarious, in fact it's gotten me in trouble on occassion as a journalist. My suggestion, just force yourself to do it. I was really uncomfortable asking people for names, permissions, getting close, etc. But now that I've done it for a while, it comes natural. If anyone isn't into it, I just move on to the next happy person. You just have to keep practicing.
And I understand the "baby" face thing. When I grow my beard for the winter it's even worse
Llywellyn has a good technique, but as you said in the end, I just don't have enough patience for this kind of one-on-one interaction. Perhaps if I'm in a good mood and there are no other subjects nearby. Good ideas though.
Andy's post really describes what I'm trying to do. This isn't an excecise in practicing my ninja photography skills. I'm trying to be out in the open with nothing to hide. For example when dealing with security guards at the events I go, to my attitude or sense of purpose is half the battle. If I slowly walk up to a gate and look unsure if I belong inside or not, I'm always questioned. But if I briskly approach a gate with a sure look on my face, most of the time they never check my credential and let me pass. I guess this is where I'm having the most difficulty adapting to parents. This technique doesn't do a thing to quell their protective nature.
stirfry makes some really good points. My business card only has the company I work for on it, with no mention of photography or my intentions. VistaPrint is a good solution indeed, I've been meaning to get a more personalized card to hand out when I'm shooting. I like the idea of clearly stating my intentions on the card. I hope it would appear more legitamite than handing out my generaric business card "hey, I could be crazy and this generic card doesn't suggest otherwise" compared to "this is what I do, you have nothing to fear".
I'll have to practice my approach, that seems like the common idea here. Perhaps I can find a more friendly environment like Llywellyn first had, where people know that photographers are roaming.
Zazzi
Like I said, if anyone gives me trouble, I just move on.
My favorite is the student groups who tell me I'm not allowed to take pictures. And I politely ask how a student group, in a public building, in a public university, can tell me I don't have a first amendment right.
Then I follow up with "If you don't want publicity and people to read about what it is you do, and get the recognition that follows, that's fine with me. I'm not going to twist anyone's arms"
Well, that actually only happened once. But If they're really that uncomfortable, it will show in the photos I would assume. Usually people who are ok with it will have better pics. At least in my experience.
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We live in an age of pediphiles and Amber Alerts...perhaps you've hit a cord here with the many parents that are overly-protective of their children...and rightfully so in this crazy world we live in.
Just my two-cents for what it's worth.
I have an idea of what will work. For all the parents that are out there, what would make you okay with me taking photos of your kids? What key words are you looking for? What would make you even more grumpy?
Zazzi
My first question (and parents first thoughts) Why? What are you going to do with these photos? So I'd start with a solid explanation about why you want to shoot the photos and what you plan to do with them.
You need a better explantion than, "I find young children really entertaining."
Are your kiddie pics for a portfolio? Are you hoping to become a paid children's portrait shooter? Then start by shooting lots of cool pics of your kiddie relatives. Put together a small blurb.com style book. Carry it with you and be prepared to explain yourself using the book. If someone takes offense (and they will), simply apologize and move on.
Just based on this post, I'm still unclear why you're shooting photos of unknown children-- and what you plan to do with them. You'd be better off finding friends, relatives, and co-workers with kids and getting permission to shoot their kids. Trust me, you're going to get better pics of the kids of friends at parties or BBQ's than from strangers. You'll have more time, trust, and ability to get the shots you want. Besides, when you shoot known kids, you can always get a release, especially if you give the parents copies of photos.
Anyway, sounds like I may be in the minority here, but I'm going to take the stand that without a SOLID reason and the ability to explain that reason to parents, you shouldn't be shooting kiddie strangers at all.
Portland, Oregon Photographer Pete Springer
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I do not think that you are IN the minority at all. I raised four children, and I can tell you now, that I would not allow a stranger to walk up and start taking pictures of them. In this day and age, there is no good reason for me to allow it.
There is nothing in it for me, or my children, so why would I want some stranger to have images of them. By the same token, if I were sitting on a park bench, and I saw someone pointing a camera directly at me, I would want to know why. I would consider it an invasion of my privacy, and not like it. Most folks would feel the same way.
The world is full of strange people, and only they know their motives. Better to be paranoid than sorry.
Of course having been a cop for 32 years, I have a deep suspicion about these things. I have seen the worst of the low lifes who inhabit this world, and will always be looking over my shoulder.
Zazzi