wedding nightmare!

nicki2414

I will not even post any pics from this wedding because Im really not sure there is any worth posting, but I just HAVE to share this story!

The day started out with a very unhappy bride and a joyful groom. Whatever was going on with them it was bad. When it was time for the first kiss the bride stormed down the isle without her new husband. He was shocked! I really don't think he knew anything was wrong. She jumped in a car with her friend and took off to the reception leaving the groom behind. By this time I really wasn't sure what I should be doing. Do I take pictures of this? Everyone there was so shocked and it showed on their faces. I just stopped taking pictures. I just packed in the car with the groom and was off to the reception. The bride REFUSED to do any formals and didn't speak to her husband at all. The grooms brothers had bought cigars so they went out to smoke them. When he came back in the first dance was called. They went to the dance floor and the bride must have smelled the smoke. She slapped him in the face and walk off the floor. (No I didn't get this shot although I wish I had! I was pretty shocked myself!) She got in a car and left. She went to her parents. The groom told me to just go home (after he wrote out my full check). He said he didn't want the pictures but paid me for my time. (I think I might return half the money at least... still haven't decided what to do...) He was left at his reception by himself to deal with the dinner. The guest quickly left and there was their wedding. I knew a couple of the guest and they said the bride went on their honeymoon with her sister. It has been 2 months since the wedding and I have tried to contact them to see if they want their pictures but they will not return my phone calls. I even tried to ship them their prints and they returned them. I just feel like they should have something from the day. The sad thing is It was the most luxurious wedding I have shot so far. The dress alone cost $10,000! I just wish I would have something to show for it! If they don't except the prints I really feel like I should return some of the money but they don't seem interested.

Needless to say.... it was an interesting day!

Nikolai

nicki2414 wrote:

I will not even post any pics from this wedding because Im really not sure there is any worth posting, but I just HAVE to share this story!

The day started out with a very unhappy bride and a joyful groom. Whatever was going on with them it was bad. When it was time for the first kiss the bride stormed down the isle without her new husband. He was shocked! I really don't think he knew anything was wrong. She jumped in a car with her friend and took off to the reception leaving the groom behind. By this time I really wasn't sure what I should be doing. Do I take pictures of this? Everyone there was so shocked and it showed on their faces. I just stopped taking pictures. I just packed in the car with the groom and was off to the reception. The bride REFUSED to do any formals and didn't speak to her husband at all. The grooms brothers had bought cigars so they went out to smoke them. When he came back in the first dance was called. They went to the dance floor and the bride must have smelled the smoke. She slapped him in the face and walk off the floor. (No I didn't get this shot although I wish I had! I was pretty shocked myself!) She got in a car and left. She went to her parents. The groom told me to just go home (after he wrote out my full check). He said he didn't want the pictures but paid me for my time. (I think I might return half the money at least... still haven't decided what to do...) He was left at his reception by himself to deal with the dinner. The guest quickly left and there was their wedding. I knew a couple of the guest and they said the bride went on their honeymoon with her sister. It has been 2 months since the wedding and I have tried to contact them to see if they want their pictures but they will not return my phone calls. I even tried to ship them their prints and they returned them. I just feel like they should have something from the day. The sad thing is It was the most luxurious wedding I have shot so far. The dress alone cost $10,000! I just wish I would have something to show for it! If they don't except the prints I really feel like I should return some of the money but they don't seem interested.

Needless to say.... it was an interesting day!

Ouch. What a "great" start!
Hope they had the prenups...

Art Scott

Wow that tops mine......I would offer the groom a refund, by phone call to him, since he wrote the check to you....if he refuses....then so be it......if you cannot talk to him directly and have to leave a message then give him like 7 days to return your call and document it........as a matter of fact document everything with this couple from here on out just in case.......messages would be better by registered mail or email.....not the phone come to think of it.

actually you should have recorded the whole day....everything until you were asked to leave......coulda made a great book later on in years or even a movie.......

Tim Kamppinen

WOW... do you think they are even still together? Sounds like they might have had it annulled right away... I wonder what the story was behind all that. Sounds like she found out about something that he didn't think she would find out about... but then again she could just be a total nutjob.

dangin

:wow unbelievable. i've seen some crazy stuff as a wedding photographer but i can't say i've ever seen a bride leave the reception and not come back (eventually). i wonder what happened...

Matthew Saville

nicki2414 wrote:

The dress alone cost $10,000!

I guess for some people, money DOES grow on trees. But happiness never will...

:-(

Jeremy Winterberg

wow... I agree with Art. But at the same time I would probably take the money and move on But that probably isn't the right thing to do... legally ... at least.

ssimmonsphoto

Umm... wow.

Flyinggina

I am not a wedding photographer, but this is my take on the situation.

You are entitled to keep the fee. You did your part.

Do you think the caterer gave back the cost of the cake, food etc? Do you think the bride got back the $10,000 for her dress? (Well, she may have been able to return it!!)

Did the place where they had the reception refund their money?

Those who provided goods and services for the event delivered and I assume they and all got paid.

Of course, you feel bad about taking money in view of what happened. But you were there and ready to do your job.

An offer to reimburse the groom for 1/2 the fee (or whatever you would allocate for the hours you didn't end up working), would be a very nice gesture. I would put a time limit on it.

I wouldn't try again to get the pictures to them. It seems pretty clear that memories of the event are not what they want. Keep the prints for a while just in case, though.

Virginia

Moogle Pepper

...holy...moly!

aerosmith9110

if its was me just take the money...
Its got nothing to do with you if they don't cooperate...

Plus... money seems not to be a problem with the couple and your not being paid enough to be a marriage counselor..

mercphoto

Jeremy Winterberg wrote:

But at the same time I would probably take the money and move on But that probably isn't the right thing to do... legally ... at least.

It is the right thing to do. I agree completely with flyingina. All the other vendors kept their fees. Why on earth is the photographer any different?

Agnieszka

:jawdrop :crazy Where there tons of (video) cameras? Maybe she was part of the bridezilla show?? WOW!

divamum

YIKES. What a nasty scene to have to witness. That said, as an organist my other half has seen just about everything over the many years he's played weddings, including blazing rows at the altar. brides not turning up, grooms not turning up, priests not turning up, in-laws fighting amongst themselves, parents dropping dead mid-service etc etc etc. Sigh. (Makes me glad I eloped!!! )

While I think that offering a refund is a nice gesture that speaks volumes about your decency, remember that you held up your part of the bargain! You did everything you were paid to do. If you do offer to reimburse part of your fee, I think that 50% is too much (25%, maybe?). One would HOPE that they would refuse to take the offer, but then again - if she's as nasty as that, she may be calling everybody up DEMANDING a refund (at which point I think I would dig my toes in and say.... NO!!!)

Wow, that must have left a lot of bad feeling for *everybody* - I wonder what on earth happened that triggered Bridezilla's Wrath?!

Moogle Pepper

Honestly, even though I do not know the entire story. I am going to guess this was a gradual build up and that the said lady wanted to really throw that into the dude's face during the wedding.

but, 25% is the most, I think, you should give back if you really wanted to. Not your fault this happened.

Cygnus Studios

While I do not believe that you have any responsibility whatsoever to offer a dime back to this couple, the fact that you have put forth so much of an effort to do so speaks volumes about your character.
Add to that fact your attempts to complete your obligation of delivering prints to a client who doesn't appear to want them is even better.

It is really nice to see.

Matthew Saville

Cygnus Studios wrote:

While I do not believe that you have any responsibility whatsoever to offer a dime back to this couple, the fact that you have put forth so much of an effort to do so speaks volumes about your character.
Add to that fact your attempts to complete your obligation of delivering prints to a client who doesn't appear to want them is even better.

It is really nice to see.

Amen!

Jeremy Winterberg

mercphoto wrote:

It is the right thing to do. I agree completely with flyingina. All the other vendors kept their fees. Why on earth is the photographer any different?

Because all of those places could end up in a law suit too! I'm just saying - To be on the safe side, also to stay on the (ex?)couple's good side (as well as family members, friends, and EVERYONE that wants them to get their money back) for future business.

Like I said, I would probably keep the money. But I'm a broke college student so I'll take what I can get!:D

mercphoto

Jeremy Winterberg wrote:

Because all of those places could end up in a law suit too!

No, they can't. Not the florst, not the baker, not the venue. Nobody could get sued over this and lose. Look, its not the photographer's fault that the wedding fell to pieces. She didn't decide to stop photographing, she was told to by the paying party. She offered to deliver pics and was turned down. Keep the bucks, THAT is the right thing to do.

Blurmore

I wouldn't offer any money back either. You did your job. The only thing I would have done differently is that I would have taken pictures in all the uncomfortable moments that you said you didn't take pictures. I've been in some very uncomfortable situations with hellish mothers, and violent fathers, and unless someone ASKS me to stop taking their picture...it is my job to take pictures, no matter how taking the pictures makes me feel, or how I think it makes the subjects feel. Sad situation, but again, you did your job, you are entitled to pay.

Jeremy Winterberg

mercphoto wrote:

No, they can't. Not the florst, not the baker, not the venue. Nobody could get sued over this and lose.

I know they (the businesses) would win, but still... the hassle of going to court... etc... not worth it IMO.

But I seriously doubt they would... at least the groom... that bride on the other hand... watch your back pocket with her!

Moogle Pepper

She wouldn't be hit with a lawsuit and neither would all the other vendors. They fulfilled their end of the contract. So I don't think that would even occur. She did the right things right through the end. She even tried to send whatever photographs to the recipients and then the parents, but it was sent back to her.

met

You could potentially offer them a partial refund based on the amount of post work that you didn't have to do. But if you went ahead and did as much post work as you had originally built into the price - then you earned your money. The groom may just want to cut his losses and forget about it at this point.

nicki2414

wow! lol thanks to all. Just wanted to update.... I did finally get a voice message saying that they are still together but have decided to put the whole day behind them. They do not want to be reminded of the day so they told me that they didn't want anything that i captured.

Needless to say I cashed the check! lol and Im keeping the voicemail just in case.

I have another wedding this friday. I sure hope its better than the last one!

Moogle Pepper

Whoa still together after that? Well at least you cashed the check!

sweet caroline

nicki2414 wrote:

wow! lol thanks to all. Just wanted to update.... I did finally get a voice message saying that they are still together but have decided to put the whole day behind them. They do not want to be reminded of the day so they told me that they didn't want anything that i captured.

Needless to say I cashed the check! lol and Im keeping the voicemail just in case.

I have another wedding this friday. I sure hope its better than the last one!

Well, it will be better than this one, for sure!

Jeremy Winterberg

Although I hope they work through this and stay together, I'm having a hard time seeing them lasting very long.

Anyways, I hope your wedding on Friday is Drama-Free, or at least it doesn't result with a Bridezilla...:D

Scott McLeod Photo

Crazy. I think you have been more than generous. Maybe the cost of any deliverables that you no longer can deliver, like the album, etc that were part of the package. Sounds like most people involved with it just want to forget about it. I am pretty sure that you will eventually come across someone who is related and will hear a version of the story.

nicki2414

i hope so too! hahaha

I just got a phone call from tomorrow's bride saying that she changed her jewelry! She is defiantly an interesting one. Looks like rain here so cross your fingers for me. I will post some this weekend.... if the bride doesn't run off again!

Photog4Christ

nicki2414 wrote:

.... The groom told me to just go home (after he wrote out my full check). He said he didn't want the pictures but paid me for my time. (I think I might return half the money at least... still haven't decided what to do...) ...

Why were you not paid BEFORE the wedding? What would you have done if the groom didn't pay you?

I know you already answered this (you mentioned you cashed the check), but there is no reason to return any of the money.

Jeremy mentioned something about the vendors being sued. Nothing can stop anyone from suing you. Anyone can take anyone to court at any time. The difference is having an iron clad contract. If you have not consulted with legal council regarding your contract and your business model, I suggest that now might be a very good time to do that.

nicki2414

I was paid my deposit fee already. I then require a check for the full amount within the last two weeks before the wedding. We had an agreement that I would be paid the remainder the day of. They followed our agreement.