Nits & Crits II

angevin1

Okay. I'm only interested in this image. I do still have work to do on Shadows and in shadows. But other than that, what do your eyes see that my glazed-over-tired eyes do not??

Thanks for the comments and Criticism.

JAG

hey great imagination and I really love what you got going here! Ok you want me to get nit picky? Here goes...
1. In the glasses, the bulb should reflect the partial disintegration that is showing in the actual bulb itself. Maybe a few specks of light glittering off a chunk of bulb to indicate what you have going already in the image.
2. As you mentioned you needed to work on shadows but I will mention it here too...the canvas is needing it, and the candle stick might need less of it under since the candle/bulb would actually make it brighter around the base.
3. Perspective on the canvas...it took me awhile to decide why it looks slightly off...but I have it figured to two things. One is that the top near corner of the image is ever so slightly off on persective and needs that corner picked up just tad to the left. Not much. The other is the lighting on the image should be brighter as it gets closer to the candle/bulb.

That said...you have an outstanding work in progress here. Good luck!

Jenn

hmmm ...
Shouldn't there be some sort of a glow around the outside of the lightbulb?

red_zone

cool concept. the image laying flat - I'll just call it a "puzzle box" doesn't interact very well with the surface its resting on. For one thing the bg goes oof and the box stays sharp. The image on the "top" of the box needs shading to look like it's laying flat, and the edges need to be out to the edge or something to ease the transition. And it'd bee neat if you were to ad "1000 pieces" or something subtle to give it more features along there - oh, but I'm running with this idea already.

The black around (and in the middle) of the flame looks funny with the bright orange background. I wonder if you can light a candle with an orange card behind it to see what it'd really look like.

angevin1

JAG wrote: »

1. In the glasses, the bulb should reflect the partial disintegration that is showing in the actual bulb itself. Maybe a few specks of light glittering off a chunk of bulb to indicate what you have going already in the image.
2. As you mentioned you needed to work on shadows but I will mention it here too...the canvas is needing it, and the candle stick might need less of it under since the candle/bulb would actually make it brighter around the base.
3. Perspective on the canvas...it took me awhile to decide why it looks slightly off...but I have it figured to two things. One is that the top near corner of the image is ever so slightly off on persective and needs that corner picked up just tad to the left. Not much. The other is the lighting on the image should be brighter as it gets closer to the candle/bulb.

That said...you have an outstanding work in progress here. Good luck!

Oh thank you so very much taking that kind of time!

in order of critique:

1. It should indeed reflect the same as in the image. I can easily do that. My thoughts were NOT to do so....allowing that there is little realism here?? Verdict awaits!
2. When you say canvas, not sure what you mean. As far as the shadow/no-shadow at the base of the candle stick, in this instance, I think the shadow needs to be moved towards the center base (up on the metal) as opposed to round the base. great eye!
3. I am beginning to think the thing you call a canvas, is actually the (unfinished) Puzzle box that the Puzzle is sitting on. I need more info on this perspective issue if you can clarify..!! Thanks!

angevin1

red_zone wrote: »

cool concept. the image laying flat - I'll just call it a "puzzle box" doesn't interact very well with the surface its resting on. For one thing the bg goes oof and the box stays sharp. The image on the "top" of the box needs shading to look like it's laying flat, and the edges need to be out to the edge or something to ease the transition. And it'd bee neat if you were to ad "1000 pieces" or something subtle to give it more features along there - oh, but I'm running with this idea already.

The black around (and in the middle) of the flame looks funny with the bright orange background. I wonder if you can light a candle with an orange card behind it to see what it'd really look like.

All good stuff!!

yep. It's a puzzle box! Actually the only made two made up components in this is the orange BG and the puzzle-pieces. Everything else is in fact a photo, flame, candle, stick, Chick, etc.

I'll review this thread later and see What the next phase will be.

thanks again~

angevin1

Jenn wrote: »

hmmm ...
Shouldn't there be some sort of a glow around the outside of the lightbulb?

?? I wonder??

SeascapeS

Tom - very cool idea! Nice job!

One thing I might add to what the others said is that the light bulb looks a bit cartoonish.

travelways

SeascapeS wrote: »

Tom - very cool idea! Nice job!

One thing I might add to what the others said is that the light bulb looks a bit cartoonish.

I agree with Sandy in this with all the other suggestions. Great work and idea, no doubt. I really like the 3 dimensional look of the flying puzzles... But in my opinion it's a little complicated, with to many things to look at,
and I don't quite get the story...

angevin1

SeascapeS wrote: »

Tom - very cool idea! Nice job!

One thing I might add to what the others said is that the light bulb looks a bit cartoonish.

Oh..does it not? ! Everything I have tried so far, just totally crap with orange BG in the bulb....and I think it is the orange that brings home the cartoon too. I won't have time to work on it again until tomorrow eve..then maybe, maybe I can get somewhere with it all~

photo-bug wrote: »

I agree with Sandy in this with all the other suggestions. Great work and idea, no doubt. I really like the 3 dimensional look of the flying puzzles... But in my opinion it's a little complicated, with to many things to look at,
and I don't quite get the story...

Thanks to everyone for taking a look and braving a critique. Specifics are very welcome here. We don't have to agree, but different perspectives rate very high on my list of likes!

Oh, no doubt, it is a midlin-busy scene! And typically we wouldn't like that...but taken as a whole is how I imagined it...and of course, there is lots of room left too!! hahaa!

tinamarie52

Intriguing.

But, I have to admit that I didn't get it until I read the comments. I thought it was a book cover. The puzzle pieces are much thicker than real puzzle pieces (unless it's a wooden puzzle.) I didn't realize that she is blowing the pieces into the puzzle until I finished the comments.

That said, it's certainly an image that made me look long and hard to try to understand it. It made me want to go back to my margaritas!! !

I think you have something here.

Chris

angevin1

tinamarie52 wrote: »

Intriguing.

But, I have to admit that I didn't get it until I read the comments. I thought it was a book cover. The puzzle pieces are much thicker than real puzzle pieces (unless it's a wooden puzzle.) I didn't realize that she is blowing the pieces into the puzzle until I finished the comments.

That said, it's certainly an image that made me look long and hard to try to understand it. It made me want to go back to my margaritas!! !

I think you have something here.

Chris

Yes! The puzzle thing is puzzling! I have to rework this to try and get it to work a bit better. The box it is laying on will receive script/text. And the New puzzle will be thicker and hopefully tweaked appropriately in perspective.

Interesting that you could not recognize what was occurring! That bothers me, that I may have bitten off more than I can chew here~

Any other thoughts from ANYONE are welcome!

tinamarie52

Perhaps if you make the falling puzzle pieces, the empty spaces (from which they came) and the accumulating puzzle on the box all the same thickness or size, then I would have gotten it right away. I didn't notice the shape of the 'broken" light bulb until after I moved through the image.

the text on the box will help immensely.

Don't let my density slow you down!

Chris

WhatSheSaw

This is way cool!

ic4u

WOW, indeed cool, a little too far out there for my personal taste, but I DO admire your creativity!

richtersl

I love where you're going with this! To my eye, however, the flame and the light bulb do not look like they come from a photograph. They look like they were pasted in from an illustration. But I would not know how to even begin to correct that. So all I can offer is just an observation. But keep working at this shot, because when you're done, it will be awesome.

red_zone

This kind of reminds me of some of the perspective mind tricks of MC Escher.

angevin1

richtersl wrote: »

I love where you're going with this! To my eye, however, the flame and the light bulb do not look like they come from a photograph. They look like they were pasted in from an illustration. But I would not know how to even begin to correct that. So all I can offer is just an observation. But keep working at this shot, because when you're done, it will be awesome.

Thanks Linda! I was about to trash the idea in toto! That color in the bulb is causing the 'cartoon issue', I am certain. I managed to do another bulb last night, and am getting somewhere with it. But overall, this needs a total rework, which, if I do not get sick of it, I will complete....but there is a very real chance I'll dump it from overcooking!

angevin1

red_zone wrote: »

This kind of reminds me of some of the perspective mind tricks of MC Escher.

Thank you!

sunflowerstudio

angevin1 wrote: »

Thank you!

I also like this idea (and execution) quite a bit. I can see the nits people are picking at, and they're reasonable. But don't let the nits get you down from the overall impact of the photo. It's quite compelling.

The biggest false note for me (once JAG pointed it out) is the reflection in the sunglasses, which looks pasted on. I see the other nits, but some don't pop out at me unless they're picked on (the perspective issue, for example) or could be stylistic choices (the illustration quality of the lightbulb & flame).

Jenn

angevin1 wrote: »

Thank you!

What if the lady was just blowing on a candle by itself which produces sparks that fly forward and those sparks morph into puzzle pcs as they land on the puzzle box lid?

angevin1

Re-Submission
okay, an updated version.

Please tell me what you like, don't like!

Link to larger image below~

thanks for looking!


here's a larger size: http://tomwisephotos.smugmug.com/photos/1048811518_NGxBp-X2.jpg

angevin1

Jenn wrote: »

What if the lady was just blowing on a candle by itself which produces sparks that fly forward and those sparks morph into puzzle pcs as they land on the puzzle box lid?

Sounds like a great idea Jenn! Look forward to seeing you work that out soon!:D...JK!

Honestly, I am amazed I haven't thrown this idea in the junk-bin!

tinamarie52

Tom, I think you nailed this one!!

I imagine that someone will ask about the lack of reflection in the glasses now! !!!

This is a great example of how to pick out the feedback that's useful to you and make your image stronger.

It all makes perfect sense to me now!!

Chris

angevin1

tinamarie52 wrote: »

Tom, I think you nailed this one!!

I imagine that someone will ask about the lack of reflection in the glasses now! !!!

This is a great example of how to pick out the feedback that's useful to you and make your image stronger.

It all makes perfect sense to me now!!

Chris

Yeah Chris,

Those reflections/not-reflections. I tried everything, but Short of using the original reflections, which were fab, rectangular, and well placed, I just didn't like any of them. so, no reflections as of yet. other than the frames!

Thanks for the critique mention.
I copied and pasted the day-1 critiques in a word doc, and moved them over to my workstation and used them to assess and aid me in deciding what needed doing. The critiques, ones that take time to proffer, help immensely!

Thanks~

richtersl

clap I think you did it! Lookin' good!

angevin1

richtersl wrote: »

clap I think you did it! Lookin' good!

Thanks Linda!

Jenn

angevin1 wrote: »

okay, an updated version.

Please tell me what you like, don't like!

Link to larger image below~

thanks for looking!


here's a larger size: http://tomwisephotos.smugmug.com/photos/1048811518_NGxBp-X2.jpg

What if you cropped it below her sunglasses so the eye goes more to her puckered lips? That would eliminate the reflection issue, and then you could crop it a bit closer to the desk on the left to compensate for composition?

Just a thought. I like this one much better!

angevin1

Thanks Jenn!

travelways

Wow..., this one is really nice! - glad you didn't give up:)

I think that since the image is a fiction, the reflections in the sunglasses are not needed.

WhatSheSaw

I'm glad you didn't give up. This is marvelous!